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Should I feel guilty if i don't celebrate daughters 5th bday very big?

low on funds and not sure if i will be able to give her a big hurrah for her 5th bday....am I a bad mom? will she hate me down the road?

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Marrevilla

Asked by Marrevilla at 1:14 PM on Jul. 20, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 4 (47 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Absolutely not! Sometimes parents hit rough patches in life..just make her bday special in your way! Have a sleepover for a few of her friends!
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:17 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Absolutely not! You do what you can afford. Your daughter is going to relish simply being the center of attention that day. She won't care how big the surroundings are.

    For my DD's 5th birthday we took her and one friend to Build-A-Bear. I bought both girls a bear - but I capped what I'd spend. Each one had $20 tops. Anything over that, the other mom had to kick in for her daughter. We went back to our house for cupcakes and playing. DD loved it. For my son's 5th, he had a few friends over for games and cake. The 6 boys had a blast and it cost me very, very little. Kids don't *need* those big bash birthdays. They won't even remember most of them. Just make it "her" day and enjoy it. Make her favorite meals that day. Take her to her favorite park or something. She'll love the attention.
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 1:21 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Don't feel guilty. I agree that children that age don't "need" a big birthday and truly enjoy just being the center of attention. We have come across some rough times in the past and we would have a "family celebration" where I would buy balloons (to match her age i.e. 5 years = 5 balloons), get her a princess or special hat that they can wear (usually all day lol), make their cake or cupcakes myself, make their favorite meal, let them choose a movie, park, etc. We have also done group parties on a budget with the sleepover idea (great idea) where we bought pizza, made cupcakes and watched movies. You could also take her to a movie, playplace like Chuck E Cheese or even a fast food place that has play structure, do something out of the ordinary, etc. No matter what you do, she will enjoy the attention and won't even remember her 5th b-day.
    Lily23

    Answer by Lily23 at 1:52 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • My mom always raised us with NO birthday parties at all, nothing! She always told us "you family knows when your birthday is, I am not going to make them feel obligated to get you something by throwing a party". On the other hand my dh's family throws a party for EVERY SINGLE BIRTHDAY.... I swear every weekend we have a different party to go too and I can't tell you how much I hate it. Especially when we don't have the money, which is almost every time.

    So.... we agreed that we will only do birthday parties for the important ages, like 1, 5, 10.....

    Don't sweat it not having one this year, you can always make it up next year, or take your LO to chuckie cheese when you do have the funds...... little kids don't care.
    jking48444

    Answer by jking48444 at 2:17 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Don't feel guilty. Just celebrate her birthday the best way you can. I don't think you should focus on the size of it.
    Cassandre

    Answer by Cassandre at 2:39 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Don't feel bad about it! Remember when it was normal to have cake, ice cream and kool-aid at a birthday party? The kids played party games and had fun running around. No one had bounce houses and face painters and all that. The best b-day party my daughter had was when she turned 5. We did just cake, ice cream and juice. The kids played in the backyard the whole time. The dads tried to make balloon animals, which was hilarious. We had 3-legged races, played Simon Says, duck duck goose, red light green light and I did not make goody bags. The kids told us for weeks afterwards that it was the best birthday party they had ever been to. That made me feel good and I couldn't have spent more than $20 on the whole thing.
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 3:07 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • No you should not, just do the best you can,All they need is your love and your time.
    momof117

    Answer by momof117 at 11:18 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • A party doesn't make a birthday. Just make it FUN. Spend 2-3 bucks on 2 or 3 helium balloons to have waiting for her, and an extra buck on crepe paper at Walmart to decorate what you can (my DS loves this!) If you can do gifts, get maybe one big one and a variety of smaller ones. Spread them out throughout the day (maybe a card and a small one at breakfast, another small one after lunch, and then a big one and a smaller one after dinner.) Make the cake yourself (4 or 5 bucks tops) and maybe ask her what she wants for dinner and make it for her. Then plan something cheap and fun for the day. Beach? Playground? Park? Maybe just running around in the hose outside?
    LostTheSlipper

    Answer by LostTheSlipper at 2:35 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • she will not hate you at all
    devinalexis

    Answer by devinalexis at 6:09 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • No dont feel guilty my son will be 8 in a couple of weeks and he has never asked for a party, most kids just want to know that mommy and daddy and sometimes grandparents remember their birthdays, a good family get together or a mom and daughter day would be great...
    tammil81

    Answer by tammil81 at 4:43 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

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