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I want my life back.....

I'm going to school just for one course and I'm flunking. I have no motivation to keep it up. Wednesday is the last day of class I'm not going to continue in the fall. I want my life back. My house is a mess, my husband travels 80% of the year, I have an 18 yr old daughter who doesn't work, doesn't go to school and does what she wants to do.
I use to go to the gym now I'm gaining weight. My house use to be clean. My family interrupts me when I try to study at home. I can't seem to get myself out of the house to go to school to study.
I wanted more education to get a better job. But my motivation is very low at the present time.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on Jul. 20, 2010 in About CafeMom

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • sounds like a bit of depression to me...
    I know when I was in Utah and kinda depressed- I didn't clean much, didn't care about much, gained weight...
    I think your daughter should be doing something around the house if she is 18 and still living there
    make of point of taking care of yourself and hopefully you will feel more like it is worth it!

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 2:18 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I bet if you had a female friend in the area that will come visit and help you get organized and have a lot of the same interests (school, older children, working out) you'd be more apt to get out and do those things!!!

    Answer by CassiRae3 at 1:25 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • No offense, but by flunking and quitting, what kind of message is that sending to your daughter? It's about organizing your time. One course does not consume that much of a person's time. Your dd should be helping to keep up the house. On your off days, you should be going to the gym if that's what you enjoy. What you're in is a "sink or swim" situation. You owe it to yourself to be successful and have a sense of accomplishment and pride. Your dd should also be watching over the family to give you study time. She needs to learn that she's an adult and needs to either shape up or ship out. You shouldn't be tolerating such laziness especially when it's interfering with what you're wanting to do with your life. GL

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 1:26 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I think motivation takes a conscious decision to do things differently. You have to get to the point where you've had enough. Nobody can get you to that point, but you should start setting personal goals for yourself. Each day make a list of the things you are going to accomplish and do them - one by one until they are done. You have to do this for yourself or you will begin to feel useless again. Good luck!

    Answer by neebug3766 at 1:29 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I hear you on that one~it is so stressful (you know they did a study showing that kind of stress is damaging~it really ages us). I have to do good in school or I really stress. On the flip, class by class you will chip away at finishing this work in progress~

    Can you envision all the things you would need to make it doable~a tolerance for a messy house (a teen who cleans the house), two hrs a day for study, study group once a week, early am workouts, late night test prep~

    can you tell the teen to go to school or start working full time~you need a can always rent her room out and trade for errand runner, food prep, maid~

    the pay off in educations seems so far away (I have all the prereq's done for the RN program, 2 year wait to get in now)~

    Answer by surfcitymom at 1:34 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • If you want it badly enough, you'll do it. If not, you won't. That's part of what getting yourself out of the house to go to school is all about. It's about wanting it enough to do it even on those days when it's not easy.
    I'm not sure what kind of life you want back if you're wanting a better job ... it sounds like you want a better life than what you've had.
    What you're describing is more like feeling like you have too much to do and feeling like you can't keep up. You've got a lot to do - but it's not going to get done if you just give up. Make a schedule and do things at the designated times regardless of how you're feeling.
    An 18 year old who doesn't work, doesn't go to school, and just does what she wants to do? Why is that allowed? It should be a choice - either working and helping around the house, or in school and helping around the house ... or move out and make it on her own.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 1:41 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • It sounds like you not ready to make the committment.

    Answer by UpSheRises at 1:28 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I think that being an example to your dd in a way to encourage her to do something would be motivation enough. I know how it is, I've been in nursing school doing my clinicals this past year and I have only a few weeks left for LPN but I start right back up 2 wks later for RN so no real break, but this last semester we're all burned out, and not studying and focusing like we should. My kids are 3 and 1 though, and my main motivation is to make their future better, and to aid my husband from having to work 60hrs per week, and so that my kids can see that hard work and dedication pay off and hope that they will go and do well in college.

    Answer by AshleyBDG at 2:06 PM on Jul. 20, 2010