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I have a date Friday night with a guy who has Spina Bifida... What should I ask or not ask him about it?

I found out recently a guy where I work has a crush on me. We've been talking and went to lunch once. We don't see eachother that much because he works 2nd shift and I work 3rd shift. I knew he had some type of phys. impairment because he walks with a limp. He mentioned the other night that he was born with spina bifida and also has sciatic nerve problems due to a fall. Well, he's asked me to go out with him this Friday. I'm wondering how much I should ask him about it or if I should wait for him to talk about it. I'm really curious but I don't want to offend him. I'll still date him despite that he has a disability, it doesnt matter as long as he a good person. Everyone has nice things to say about him plus he has full custody of his 4yr old son. Responsibe father= extra points since I have a 6 mo. old son. If you have spina bifida or have experience with someone who does please tell me some things about it!

Answer Question

Asked by FroggyFeet at 2:33 PM on Jul. 20, 2010 in Health

Level 16 (2,353 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I wouldn't ask anything so personal on a first date...

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 2:38 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • honestly, i wouldnt ask him anything about it. i have a cousin who i am very close to who has a severe case of it. and he can do pretty much anything anyone else can. and he is in a wheel chair. unless he brings it up, i say leave the subject alone.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 2:39 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I wouldn't ask anything about it. Even if he brought it up I would listen but wouldn't pry.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • if you are interested in the subject do some research on your own first.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 2:40 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I don't know anyone with spina bifida specifically, but in my experience, it's best to let the person with the disability or abnormality to bring it up. Some people are completely comfortable with questions, but some are self conscious and I always feel like it's better safe than sorry.

    I have a friend who was born with half an arm. She was always pretty open about it with me and her other friends, but she would get self conscious sporadically. No need to bring up a potentially awkward conversation, especially on the first date!

    Answer by mickstinator at 2:42 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • My mom babysat a little girl with a severe case of it and I went to school with a girl with a pretty bad case. I also went on a date or two with a guy that had it ALL were pretty open to talking if you were genuinely interested in knowing more.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 2:48 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • OP here.... I wouldn't come out and ask him things just out of the blue, that would be kinda wierd. If he mentions something about it would it be a good time to ask a question or two is mostly what I'm wondering. Also, what's a good question to ask about it? It's not like I'm going to ask if he has bladder control or how long he can keep an erection, LOL. I've been doing some research online but most of the info I find is for parents of a child with SB or for teens with it that have questions about sexuality and social situations.

    Comment by FroggyFeet (original poster) at 3:02 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • FYI...even the paralyzed, in a wheelchair Spina Bifida guy can get an have to do all the moving. LOL

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Yes 1-2 questions after he brings it up is fine. I'm sure you'll have a lot more than that to talk about! Good luck on your date.

    Answer by TinaFabulous at 10:05 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

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