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Did you ever gave a child to adoption? how it was?

i'm sixteen andi already have my daughter she is one years old., and i'm pregnant again!
but i'm wondering if giving a baby to adoption is that bad? because it's something you will have in your mind forever right?
and i'm just wondering what my baby would say when he or her became a young man or young woman, would he think i didn't love him enought? because if i stayed with one of my child, this baby will think i reject him or her?
My family have enough money, but my mom won't help me.. i think for her i'm not her daughter since i got pregnant for the first time!
It's hard to take care of one child but two is harder right?
I don't know what to do. i can't do an abortion because i don't believe i have the power to take any child life, and because i'm already 4 months pregnant that's what my doctor told me, i thought i had sex 5 months ago but i guess it was 4 months it seems like i long time. But that doesn't matter anyway!

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Sofiah

Asked by Sofiah at 3:26 PM on Jul. 20, 2010 in Adoption

Level 9 (300 Credits)
Answers (51)
  • wow you are awfully young! what about birth control girly? or abstinence? well whatever your choices do believe adoption is the best option for you. abortion is killing an innocent child in my opinion. if you give your baby away you will give him/her the gift of life and a better life than you could provide at this time.
    staralfur

    Answer by staralfur at 3:31 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • However you decide, you need to seek out some assistance so that you're not facing this same decision next year. To answer a few of your questions though, none of the options are going to be the easy way out, and yes it will be harder to have 2 children at 16. I hope everything works out for you and I hope that you will step-up and make some responsible decisions from here on out.
    Erin814

    Answer by Erin814 at 3:33 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • i didn't plan this baby, i got pregnant because i heard an advice for a friend, that told me wrong things... and now i'm passing to same thing again! it has been so hard. i live with my aunt because my mom kicked me out but my aunt she is very angry... but. there isn't much thing to do.
    Sofiah

    Comment by Sofiah (original poster) at 3:36 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I've never given a child up for adoption. But You have to think long and hard about it, because once it's done, it can't be undone.
    To give up your own child, it to give up something of yourself. Only the strong and selfless can do that.
    I had 2 children by the time i was 23 and yes 2 is double the work.. but also double the love.

    Think about it... look inside yourself...the right answer will be there.
    MyIslandGirls

    Answer by MyIslandGirls at 3:36 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • i'm afraid to lose my family forever, because my mom barely talk to me, and it's like everyone's in my family think that i'm a slut. that make me sad, i really want to do what it's right for the baby and for me, i' don't thinnk only about me!
    Became in another hand it's not my baby fault to born, it was my fault... but thanks

    MYIslandGirls
    Sofiah

    Comment by Sofiah (original poster) at 3:41 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Well I will tell you my MIL at 17 had her third child and gave her up. Now she is in her 30's and she has contacted my MIL but does not understand even though my MIL has told her it was the best thing she could have done etc etc. It is true. She is now successful and had a good life. If my MIL would have kept her all three kids would have had nothing. There is more to it but it is not for me to say. Anyway my MIL had my SO and his younger brother years after that and then adopted 2 children. One being a girl and now the bio DD is even more upset.However my MIL felt like she was giving back you know. I think personaly I would give the baby up. I know it was hard for my MIL but then again I have my BIl and SIL because she adopted them. Maybe one day you can adopt a baby and it will balance out. Good luck and PM me if you want OK! Hang in there!!!!!
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 3:41 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • My first child was born when I was nearly 17, and there was no question of not keeping her. But, when I got pregnant again at 21, I was convinced that adoption was what needed to happen. I was not strong enough to fight the pressure and let it happen. I wish that I had been stronger, and regret my decision deeply. 40 years later and a reunion have helped me finally to heal, but, I know now that "getting over it" completely never happens.

    Rarely do I believe that adoption is the best solution to an unplanned pregnancy. If you want to raise this child, find a way. There is lots of help available if you have no family to help you. You're right.....living with the loss of a child to adoption will be a lifelong burden and adoption will not guarantee a perfect life for your child. Reach out for help, email if you need help finding some resources.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 4:03 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I'm a birth mom. It's true Adoptees often have low self esteem and abandonment issues. The prevailing thought is that birth mothers didn't want their children. When the adoptee has an older sibling or one born very soon after them they often wonder what it was about them that birth mom didn't love.


    visit the birth moms group: http://www.cafemom.com/group/4974/forums/4974/General_Discussion you can see what birth moms young and old have to say about it.

    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 4:05 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • How was it? Worst decision I ever made. Plus, it is never over.....the consequences of relinquishing a child last forever.

    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 4:17 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • deliliahsmom1177-"Maybe one day you can adopt a baby and it will balance out."

    No such thing as "balancing out" babies. They are not equal, they are individuals. One will never replace another.

    OP-I cannot tell you what to do, but I can tell you that it is very hard for a lot of moms to recover after placing their children for adoption. Some get thru it, but the pain of losing their child is there forever. Please go to the group mentioned above by onethentwins. I personally would only advise adoption in the case of abuse and/or neglect. You don't sound like you are either. You won't always be a teen, you won't always rely on others for support. If you want to raise both of your children, you can. It will be hard the first couple of years, I won't lie, but there are resources available for you to parent your babies.

    Also, your aunt may be showing "mad" when she's just really scared for you. Give her time.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 6:07 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

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