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14 Bumps

If you have cheated on your husband...

If there are any ladies on here that have ever cheated on their husband and actually confessed it to them please explain how you got through it? How long did it take for you to get back to your husband? How you convienced him to take you back? Did things get better afterward? I am in that situation right now.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:32 PM on Jul. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (29)
  • I have NEVER cheated on my husband.. But if I had, I would not expect him to stay with me. I know that I would not stay with him if he cheated on me, so why have double standards.
    xxlilmomma09

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 3:34 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I don't know, but here's a bump and well wishes for your marriage. I hope you guys can make it.
    mickstinator

    Answer by mickstinator at 3:34 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I haven't cheated on my Husband. But if you're going to tell him prepare for some problems.
    tryin2BGOOD

    Answer by tryin2BGOOD at 3:35 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I haven't ever cheated and I never would..
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 3:36 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I couldn't do that to my dh.
    but in your situation I would keep it to myself and never do it again and if you can keep it from him without him ever knowing then move on but me I could not keep it a secret my conscious would not let me be. GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 3:38 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Yes, I did. I had to tell him because the guilt was overwhelming. We talked about it a lot. He told me how badly it hurt him. I had to really "hear" how he felt. I didn't see it as convincing him to take me back. I told him I really loved him and had to wait to see if he wanted me back. I knew it could have been over. I was very lucky that he loved me enough to put it in the past. I wish the same for you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:38 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • My friend cheated and it took her the better part of a year she had to be patient and make it work this included talking and answering questions and talking even when she did not want to it helped her relationship. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 3:38 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • it takes a lot of courage but i really recomend you tell him before he finds out. you cant talk him into anything. if he wants to try to work things out let him know you want to also. it's been a long time since and my husband and i are still working on trust issues. get some marriage counceling, and if he wants time apart dont be too surprised if he does or doesnt come back. if he has questions be very honest with him, it's part of the healing process for the relationship to not hide anything.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • this is hard.
    if it was me, I'd look at the situation. Was it just one time? if it was, then maybe I wouldn't tell him. Depends on your husband. my husband could maybe forgive a indiscretion, but wouldn't forgive me not telling him.
    either way, I would see about making sure you have money and a way to protect your interests before I'd spill the beans.

    expect any kind of reaction-
    personally, I've never had a physical affair, but I don't feel that affairs come out of no where. Often the person that commited them was unhappy for a reason.
    also, I'm not saying that the person that committed it is completely innocent, I just don't go with the blame game.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • My situation has a lot of moving parts to it, regardless of all that I did cheat on my husband...for the better of 2 years I suppose and not with one person - there were many, some were flings, others were more involved. I met a man that I thought I was in love with and left everything. I never wanted my husband back, but he tried every day to make me love him again. Even when it was over with the last person I could not look at my husband without being disgusted. We talked about divorce, but he refused. We went to counseling but he refused to put in any effort, while I gave it my best shot. I even started to feel something for him again, until he took advantage of me again sexually w/disregard to what I was going through. I've been home for 6 months and I am finally feeling that I want to be with him. I told the truth, and while it came with much turmoil it is now working, but only because he didn't give up.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 4:08 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

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