Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

do you think it's right for a parent sending their child to college, pay for the loan and not knowing their grades?

I need some of negative and postive inputs of why a parent should know their child's college grades. Virginia gives the college student every right not to tell their parents their grades unless that child wants to. Yes their child is over 18 but I spent their whole working and saving up for my child to go to college. Now I am told I can not see her grades without her permission because she is over 18

Answer Question

Asked by bmwlover at 4:17 PM on Jul. 20, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 14 (1,760 Credits)
Answers (29)
  • Well, if the parent wants to pay.. they can request of the student their grades IMO, My mom didn't pay a penny for me and still knewmy grades cuz i told her.

    Answer by MomtoElliett at 4:19 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Absolutely. College students are not children, they are adults. How they finance their education is up to them. If parents choose to contribute, that's fine. But parents do not have a right to get information from the schools.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 4:19 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • imo it is your decision to pay or not to pay. i think it should be up to the student on whether he or she shares the grades w/ parents, but also should be up to the parents on whether they want to pay or not. personally, my parents didn't help pay for college, and i shared my grades with them.

    Answer by Stefanie83 at 4:19 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I would hope your child would show you the grades of his/her own free will. I personally would want to know if I were paying.


    Answer by beckie66 at 4:19 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Your paying for the loan...that's it.

    If you're paying for my car loan that doesn't mean you get to drive the car, KWIM?

    Why won't your child show you her grades?

    Answer by UpSheRises at 4:20 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • If you want to see the grades it's very simple. Stop paying until she shows them to you. Most loans are set up so the loan company has access to the grades. If the grades fall below a certain point, the loans (and other aid) are revoked. If you want your money dependent on her grades, set it up that way with the school or just flat out cut her off til she hands you her transcript.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 4:21 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • I can see your point but honestly I don't think it's any of your business. Unlike in public school you are not responsible for your child's grades so there is no reason to include you. I would work out a contract with your child that states her grades are your business as long as you are paying for her education. It won't affect the school, but it will give your child some responsibility.

    Answer by Liansmommie at 4:22 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • IF your daughter wants you to CONTINUE to pay for her college education, then she needs to show you some RESPECT and show you want your money is going towards!! Give her an ultimatum. If she's doing well, she won't have a problem showing you, if she's not, then you have a right to know, instead of wasting your money. Even if she were to eke by and graduate, she will have difficulty getting a job--potential employers often request to see your sealed college TRANSCRIPT...not just the degree!!

    I earned my BS 20 years ago, but back then, the deal my mother and i had was she would pay my tuition, but ONLY if I got B's or better! I was to pay her back for the cost of the course if I earned a C or lower...I managed to graduate with honors!! :o)

    Even if she's over 18 and away at school, I say as long as you are financially supporting her, she still needs to abide by "your house, your rules!!" :o)

    Answer by LoriKeet at 4:23 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • That's the law in all 50 states. Like it or not, that's the way it is. You are choosing to pay for your child's education, you are not being forced too. Now, you can make an agreement with your child that if they don't show you their grades at the end of the semester then you will refuse to pay for the next semester.


    Answer by JeremysMom at 4:23 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Even if the parent chooses to pay for the student's loans, the grades still belong to the student. I wouldn't do that if I were the parent, but completely understand the law.

    I don't think it's wise of the parents to let that happen. I'd require my child to be passing if I were to pay for their schooling, so I'd need to see their grades, whether they were mailed to me or my child just showed them to me.

    Answer by mickstinator at 4:25 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.