Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Do you have any expectations on your friends?

What do you expect from anyone you call your friend or bff? Is it time to vent, a call once a month, getting together once a mth? Is ok ok to have expectations or just hope they do the things you like in a friend? my bff and I call each other all the time. I visit her all the time (she lives 30 min away) but she has visited me 3 times in the past 2 1/2 yrs. She always gives me a guilt trip when she asks me to come see her like, oh we miss you and my son is asking for you all the time, she'll even put her 3 yr old on the phone so he can say to come because he misses us. But when I told her the other day, while she was running another guilt trip on me, that I thnk she needs to start visitng me more often she got upset and ignored me for 2 wks. She's a really good friend but I don't get why she can't make the drive to my house but I do. Any way my SO said that I should expect anything from friends and I need to lower my standards

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:55 PM on Jul. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • That doesn't sound like that great of a friend to me. It's one thing if there's reason's why a friend can't come to you, but this friend just sounds selfish. I know it's only a half hour but is she even willing to meet you half way. Or if you drove to her house and did a day trip would she then drive to the zoo or museum? I just don't think that one person should have to do all the traveling.
    yezay

    Answer by yezay at 8:57 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • You should feel like she supports you as much as she supports you or she's just a user. Its hard to recognize these ppl sometimes, especially if they've been sooooo close to us. Your standards aren't too high, she's just that low. Start developing new friendships & look for those that give as much as they take! You're worth more.
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 9:00 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • It's a give and take, you both should contribute equally.
    ta2dirishlass

    Answer by ta2dirishlass at 12:17 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • It's like a relationship it takes two to make it work! I mean my BFF lives in Denver and I moved to Chicago 7 years ago. I have gone to visit 4 times and she has come to visit 1 time. But of course I can't blame her for not coming she does have 3 kids and I am expecting my 2nd. When I visited I was single and no responsibilities, now that I do it's harder to get out to see her and the kids. But once in awhile she will put my God Daughter on the phone and she tells me she misses me andwhen am I going to visit her. But your friend can make an attempt to come see you at least a little more often especially since you guys are only 30 mins away.

    cynprz

    Answer by cynprz at 11:45 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I live in a rural area and if we are to see anyone we have to drive out. Family and friends. It is a fact I've come to accept. But I agree, she should compromise with you.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 9:23 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN