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What can I do to help my husband bond with our son better?

My son doesn't really like to be held or have much to with his daddy. He seems to only want to be around, held, and talked to by me. I would really like to help him bond with our son. My husband does really want to be right there for everything for him and is willing to try anything so he can have a stronger bond with our son.

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tink0922

Asked by tink0922 at 9:22 PM on Jul. 20, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 4 (54 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • The bond will grow as your son is able to interact more with your husband. I noticed this with both of my babies and husband. He was willing, but it wasn't until there was more response and play that there was the close bond such as I had.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:26 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • My son is the same way except his day doesn't live with us and doesn't try to spend quality time with him. I think your husband should try to take your son to a fun place with just the two of them. I dont kno how old the baby is but maybe they can go to the park, the zoo, museum, or a fun place like monkey joes or chuck e cheese.
    mzQ

    Answer by mzQ at 9:31 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • My son is 2 1/2 months
    tink0922

    Comment by tink0922 (original poster) at 9:51 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • The more you "let" him do things, the more they bond. What helped my DH with both of our kids was babywearing. He would wrap them up in the moby and go about his business. He also did baths, changed diapers, everything but feeding (until solids) because that's mom's job in our house. He is VERY close to our two children, despite a year long deployment away. I attest it to my stepping back and letting him nurture them as well.
    lifetimelove

    Answer by lifetimelove at 10:02 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • My husband has a better bond with our son (he's 3.5 now) than I do. He did a lot of the same things that lifetimelove's DH did, but since I was pumping, he also fed him a lot of his bottles. DH was always with our son when he was a baby whether it was playing on the floor, taking a nap on the couch, you name it. One thing your DH & baby might enjoy is getting in the shower. We found it was so much easier to take a shower with the baby rather than try to drag out that stupid bathtub and balance it on the sink. I was too scared at first, so DH always got in the shower with Nathan. We started doing it when he was a newborn, and DH would sing to him and talk to him in the shower. I think that was some of their best bonding moments.
    Journey311

    Answer by Journey311 at 10:15 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • When my daughter was a newborn, after all the visits were over from the grandparents, and it was just us, I would just give my daughter to my husband and walk away. I would make sure she was fed (I breastfeed) and then I would go do what I needed to do. Sometimes she would cry and he would be like, she's crying, and I would come and check her diaper. 9 times out of 10, she was wet, and then I would kind of act annoyed that he couldn't check and eventually he started checking and changing her on his own and she got used to him. You can also get a wrap or sling - get husband friendly colors - and then go for walks around the neighborhood and have dad wear the baby.
    Christina807

    Answer by Christina807 at 10:22 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • It takes a little time for the both of them to get used to eachother sometimes. Us, we have that instant bond.
    Just give them more time together. Let your husband know that he needs to be calm and relaxed so that the baby can be as well.
    I had issues like this with my 3rd, the other two were fine with him. But my 3rd seemed like she hated him, she would scream when he would hold her, and he would just get upset. Hope that helps a little Good Luck
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 10:49 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

  • Relax. It'll happen. In the first months dad tends to be a hairy scary creature with a big booming voice that is definitely Not The Momma.

    I didn't meet my parents till I was ten months old. Bonded FINE. No rush here! A bond is built EVERY day of your lives. It's neither made nor broken only in the first weeks or months. My bond with my parents was still built till they died.

    But one thing you CAN do? Hand baby to dad and head out somewhere. They'll survive. REALLY!
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:07 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

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