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What should i do?

i just met my biological father last year after 24 years- now we were getting along just fine, having visits with each other, meeting around the holidays and birthdays and what not- my kids love him and my little brother i never knew i had and my step mother. well 2 of my boys had birthdays this month and we ended up canceling the birthday party due to my husbands father passing away, so my father wanted to set something up where him and his family would come to my house to visit and bring the gifts he got for the kids. the day comes and i start cooking a huge batch of fried chicken, rice and beans, veggies, and a tossed salad. after cooking for about 2 hours and prepping my house for the visit, the time that he was supposed to be at my house comes and goes. so i call him after hes about 45 minutes late to see if he was on his way (he lives about an hour away so i thought maybe he hit traffic) well he answers his phone and

 
lovelyli217

Asked by lovelyli217 at 12:02 AM on Jul. 21, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 12 (759 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • i would say whats on my mind if it hurts him i would just say sorry but i would reather tell you the truth i have to do that with my bio dad all the time it might bother him at the time but he gets over it
    devinalexis

    Answer by devinalexis at 6:36 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • come to find out he had to cancel because his wifes mother, who is diabetic, had to go to the hospital. even though i was upset i understood that things like this can happen, but that still didn't explain why he didn't try harder to contact me to save me the trouble of doing everything that i did? anyways so we rescheduled for today but i had to cancel because my husband is still not back to normal after his fathers passing and he wasnt up to the visit. so my dad has the nerve to tell me that its not cool what i did because his wife took the day off to be there for the visit. but the thing is, i e mailed him last night which was plenty of time for her to tell them she would be coming in after all, and at least they had notice before going through any trouble. then he goes on to say have a nice summer, as if he wont be speaking to me the rest of the summer. what should i say to him without sounding mean? lol because i really
    lovelyli217

    Comment by lovelyli217 (original poster) at 12:08 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I don't know what was supposed to be after the "and" but I just met my bio father last week for the very first time after 33 years. I have invited him, his wife and my half-siblings to my sons 2nd birthday party this weekend. Just trying to say that I can sympathize(sp?).
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 12:08 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • want to say, look, whats good for the goose is good for the gander- if you can cancel without any notice then i sure can too but i was respectful enough to give notice but i dont want to mess up this very new very fragile relationship
    lovelyli217

    Comment by lovelyli217 (original poster) at 12:10 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • That sounds like something my mother would do. Do you think he was joking or what? I would have been mad at first, but the more I would think about it, I know things can happen. But still, he could have given you the courtesy of a phone call the night before. How would have he reacted if it happened the other way around?
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:33 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • he was definitely not joking- he inboxed my facebook page because my status update said that i had a great day with my fam running through sprinklers with my kids and dancing with my hubby, and he said "so this was the something that came up?" i wanted to jump through the computer screen lol, just because something came up (which it did, my husbands feelings come first and foremost before my fathers) doesnt mean i didnt have time to do the normal things my family does
    lovelyli217

    Comment by lovelyli217 (original poster) at 12:59 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • thanks so much- i ended up doing just that and we smoothed everything out and he made me promise to tell him whats on my mind from now on lol
    lovelyli217

    Comment by lovelyli217 (original poster) at 4:51 PM on Jul. 23, 2010