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6 Bumps

have you dealt with a loss of a child? (not a miscarriage or abortion)

I lost one of my twin daughters in Feb 2009, she was almost 3 months old. I never went to counseling but I am feeling super stressed and emotional and I feel like I may need it now. I am scared to go. I dont want some counselor telling me she understands but has no idea. Im guessing you probably think that sounds stupid. Im scared of someone telling me to move on, etc. I miss my baby girl so much and I dont know how to cope and Im scared to ask for help. Has anyone else lost a child... especially a twin?! Its so hard because I should have 3 kids here , my son and my twins but I only have 2 children.

Answer Question
 
tayseansmom7505

Asked by tayseansmom7505 at 12:07 AM on Jul. 21, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 10 (380 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • We were just talking about our son, Gavin at dinner. He was stillborn more than 3 years ago and we are now expecting another baby. We were talking about what it might be like if he were here. I'm still dealing with it and I always will be.
    Erin814

    Answer by Erin814 at 12:09 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I lost 3 angels to misscarriage and one to a medically necessary abortion. my heart still grieves and longs for them. One thing htat helped me was making memory boxes. with little things like the positive home pregnancy test, dr appointment card, a trinket for a memorial item. I used small boxes and decorated them by hand putting all my love and sorrow in to them. I felt that by memorializing them I was able to move past my grief and heal some. you never stop fully hurting. but you can learn to get past the dark pit of sorrow. maybe you could do a memory box for your little one?
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 12:10 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I did lose my baby girl the same day she was born too early! I still miss her very much and I am still trying to deal with her death! I will keep you in my thoughts, good luck to you!!
    Truluv4ever

    Answer by Truluv4ever at 12:13 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • i have a box that i bought at hobby lobby that has all of her things in it... well not all but what i could get. i have her coming home outfit, her baby book, her christmas dress, pictures from funeral/viewing, i look at it from time to time. but it gets harder every day. sometimes i just put the cd i made for the funeral in the radio and cry and cry... it probably isnt the best idea but sometimes it just feels good to cry and get it out.
    tayseansmom7505

    Comment by tayseansmom7505 (original poster) at 12:14 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I cannot tell you that I know how you feel, but I can tell you that a *good* councelor will know that you need to work through the pain to get anywhere....they won't just push you through it to get to the "get over it" kinda stage. For the mean time, writing in a journal about your feelings is a wonderful way to get your emotions about your loss out and onto paper...
    CAGirl4

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 12:15 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • i have had one misscarrage and i have never felt a hurt that strong. ever. i have a daughter now and all i can say is love your babies everyday. be so grateful for them. i am so sorry for your loss. your baby is with you, in your heart. you may never get over it, but you will get thru it. it will just take lots and lots of time and love. much love to you momma! (((((BIG HIGS))))))
    Preggydyke

    Answer by Preggydyke at 12:15 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • her and her twin were born 6 weeks early... almost 10 weeks but i was put on bed rest at the hospital for 4 weeks. they stayed in the nicu and did great. my little troopers. she died because the sitter did not pay attention and ... well long story. but lets just say lack of taking care of my girls. it just hurts. she was here for almost 3 months of holding her and singing to her and all the mommy things :)
    tayseansmom7505

    Comment by tayseansmom7505 (original poster) at 12:16 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • thanks everyone. her memorial page is www.myspace.com/sariahmckenzie if you would like to visit
    tayseansmom7505

    Comment by tayseansmom7505 (original poster) at 12:17 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • i lost my son when he was 2 days old- i am sorry for your loss and if anyone tells u to move on u should punch them in the face!
    lovelyli217

    Answer by lovelyli217 at 12:21 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • when it first happened, i went to eat with my mom and i had on my memorial shirt of my daughter that i had made. this server said her twin son died at 13 months and that maybe thats why god gave us 2 babies... ?! !?!?!? i was soo freaked out by the comment i didnt know what to say but iw as thinking oh so god gave me two babies to take away one of them. i think not.
    tayseansmom7505

    Comment by tayseansmom7505 (original poster) at 12:24 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

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