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for moms who let their LO's CIO...

How old were they when you started CIO?
How long will you let them cry before you get them?
What if my LO won't stop crying unless I pick her up? I have her attached to me all frikkin day but when I need to shower I need to shower, when I need to sit alone I need to sit alone for my sanity. How long should I let her cry before I give in?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:14 AM on Jul. 21, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I think it really depends on the kid. Mine will go quiet pretty quickly once she realizes I'm not coming in to get her out of her bed for a nap. I have a friend who's kid will cry themselves hysterical so CIO really doesn't work for her. There's still times where you have to just let them cry & get done what you have to, shower or sanity. Don't feel bad & recognize its just her way of letting you know she's not happy w/ the current program. The time mine has the biggest fit is when I'm cooking, then she wants to be held. I'll move her high chair so she can see what I'm doing & ask her if she wants to help me cook & give her some of her dishes to play w/. By making her a part of what's going on it allows me to do what I need to w/out her screaming in the background.

    Answer by Nyx7 at 3:46 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

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    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 4:22 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I started when my DD was about a year old. For bed, I let her cry until she fell asleep. I would go in every so often & give her a kiss, but I never picked her up & I never said anything. She started going to bed no problem after about 3 nights. And I let her cry as long as it took for me to do what eve it was that I was doing, whether it be a shower or mopping the floor or whatever. It did not negatively affect her in any way. She is the most loving child ever.

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 2:20 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • How old is the child in question?
    I have a 5 month old that I leave to cry it out on certain when she's fed, burped, changed and laid down at 11pm, I know she's crying cuz she's tired. Eventually she'll calm down. I just keep offering her binky, whisper I love you baby girl, pat her bottom a few times then leave the room. My 18 month old, I can tell what all her cries mean. Sometimes I ignore it, I know she's fine, other times if its out of frustration I encourage her to calm down and tell me what she needs. She doesn't talk yet, so we've been teaching her a little sign language and her crying fits of frustration are diminishing quickly.

    Answer by KariLyn84 at 2:40 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I don't use CIO, however I can tell you that it's not recommended for babies under 6 months, they should be freshly fed, burped, and diaper changed, it's only meant for sleep training purposes - not for timeouts, teaching a baby to play alone, or getting a break, and 10 minutes is the maximum before problems can occur because enough oxygen doesn't get to their brains when they are crying non-stop. If you seriously want to use CIO, then check out books and other resources to get the information you need to use it correctly :) Personally - I went with the no-cry sleep solution for sleep training - and as for getting a shower break. . . . . well - that sometimes had to wait until nap time. The super-clingy phase doesn't last forever.

    Answer by TiffanyMarie80 at 3:50 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Take your baby to shower with you. Invest in a sling or wrap so that you can carry the baby and go about your daily business. Babies are supposed to be attached, that's how they are built. CIO can make the attachment worse by cranking up the anxiety. I understand that sometimes you are touched out, but it helps to GET OUT of the house and DO things with the baby when you are in the house like chores. Babies are very well entertained by you doing manual labor. I shower with my baby often it is fun to watch her wonderment. If I want to shower alone I plan it and wait for my husband or take advantage of my MIL.

    CIO is very stressful. Have you ever cried yourself sick? What if it was your senile grandmother in a nursing home and the staff let her CIO because they were too busy? Would you be livid?

    If it is either loose your cool and hurt your child and walking away while she cries. Yes, Walk away.

    Answer by amileegirl at 11:16 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • It isn't that my baby doesn't get hysterical. it is that when she is hysterical she is never left alone. She cries in arms until we figure out what it is she needs or she calms down. Never alone. And never because I need to do something.

    It IS frustrating. But I find once I put her in a sling and do something mundane like sweep the floor, its peaceful. She just needed reconnection. We don't realize how easily the modern world can be distracting and babies do not understand our personal interests or needs. They only know that something isn't right and they need to reconnect and biology tells them that crying will fix it.

    Answer by amileegirl at 11:19 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • SHe is 9months, and I refuse to have her attached to me in a sling around the house, that just seems ridiculous to me, I co-sleep half of the time, I BF only, I don't get a break, so simple things like a 10minute shower and dressed for bedtime are happening solo.

    And she is one of those who will continue to cry, so I am just getting her as soon as I am done with whatever I am doing/

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:14 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Ridiculous why? If you've never done it don't knock it. you'll find that once you meet her need for attachment she'll be more amiable and you'll get you ten minutes. She's still a baby. she is supposed to be attached to you. ten minutes might not seem a long time to you but it is an eternity to babies.

    it sucks not to get a break, but that part of the early years and you either need to work with it or plan more wisely so she isn't alone. it won't last forever.

    do what you want but cio often backfires.

    Answer by amileegirl at 1:33 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • The sling is only ridiculous if you have a really heavy baby. Otherwise...don't knock it till you've tried it. (I'm sure at one point in your life you thought boys were ridiculous too! **grin**)

    Take your quick shower. No problem. That's NOT the same as cry it out! Cry it out is popping baby in a crib for the night and walking away. NOT the same thing. Do what you need. She WILL adjust.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:12 PM on Jul. 21, 2010