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3 Bumps

He's saying marry me and babies of us only being together 1 week OMG!

ok ive started seeing this guy its been about a week. I have a daughter that really likes this one. I thought i liked him till he started talking about wanting to marry me and have children. I'm ready for a relationship but dang it seams he is pushing it on me. I've told him to slow down and he starts moving stuff in like his shampoo, soap, tooth brush and intentionally forgets a shirt at my house. Im really freaked out!!!! i dont know what his intentions are but this isnt the 1900's /1800's we just dont pick someone one day and the next move in and expect things to work. I dont know how to get him to understand I need space and a lasting relationship takes time. Does he sound like someone to run away from or to keep. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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lakotajean

Asked by lakotajean at 5:22 AM on Jul. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (27 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Well, he obviously has listening problems if you told him to slow down and he didn't even try. I would run away if I were you.
    MomtoElliett

    Answer by MomtoElliett at 5:39 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Woow yeah you have to run away SOON, he sounds kinda freaky.

    Lizygoinghooray

    Answer by Lizygoinghooray at 5:46 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • i think this is crazy i would end it with him as soon as i could just be carefull you dont know how he will be
    devinalexis

    Answer by devinalexis at 5:50 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • running away is what im leaning towards. there was attraction that i felt when we first saw each other but since he brought up that comitment junk i feal it harder to answer his text messages or even the all of a sudden uncomfort I get when he tries to kiss me
    lakotajean

    Comment by lakotajean (original poster) at 5:50 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Well, I'm married to a man who told me he loved me before we were even dating, and also told me in high school that he wanted to get married and have kids. We got married at 19. We started dating at 16 and he was telling me this stuff a few months after we started going, or maybe sooner. So, maybe it's just his style. The thing I don't like is that he didn't listen to you when you said to back off a little and not move too quickly. He should be hearing what you're saying, not ignoring it. Communication is the most important part to a relationship, and it sounds like already what you say goes in one ear and comes out the other lol
    MomtoElliett

    Answer by MomtoElliett at 6:07 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • RUN. if you know the pace you are comfortable with and your instincts are setting off warning bells all over the place, listen to them. this guy sounds overly needy for you. my husband and i fell in love very quickly in spite of both of us not wanting a relationship at all, but that was a mutual thing. if he is not respecting your feelings now, don't expect that to change. don't expect him to be less needy... just trust yourself. surely your daughter is not too attached. also, in the future, you might want to get comfortable with the guy a little more yourself before introducing him to your daughter and letting him stay over. this is not a judgement just an observation based on personal experience.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 6:37 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • What is your gut instinct telling you? That is what I would do. I know that I told some friends I was going to marry my dh before we even went on our first date....we were engaged 6 months after that date. lol BUT the fact that you have told him to slow it down and he doesn't seem to be respecting that is sending up red flags to me. Just seems a bit odd. If you, in any way, feel like you should get out of this relationship then GET OUT! Listen to yourself!!
    sheena696

    Answer by sheena696 at 7:39 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • one week
    and your daughter has meet him
    he is moving items into your house

    just from the post above
    i would say you have LET HIM move this fast!!

    how can he be moving things in after only one week? one week knowing someone is having a 2nd or third date (if you have that much extra time, with having a child)

    need more info, maybe i read it wrong? how is he able to move things in after one week, unless he is spending a lot of time at your house, and how can your child be really liking him when you have only known him one week
    ??????????????????

    one week?
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:45 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Wow, how needy is this guy? I'd be concerned about him as well. There are lots of predators out there who use women so be careful. They are great at what they do so they are likeable but getting rid of them is hard. Put your foot down. If red flags are flying now then his secrets will come out. He could be a child molester or a bum who wants your money. Our town court clerk met a guy like that. He moved in and talked her into spending all her money on him even her son's college fund! He wiped her out then moved on to his next victim. Tell him you two are moving too fast and to get his crap out of your house or you will throw it away. Good for you that you noticed something was wrong early.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:50 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I agree w/ fiatpax one week & all this is happening? Its easy to get caught up in the newness of a man but he shouldn't be in a situation to be forgetting stuff @ your house this quickly. Tell him you want to make sure you guys are meant to be & you want to slow things waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy down. Go on dates, make him pick you up, etc. Tell him that you want this time to be forever & you're willing to take the time to see if it works. If he keeps pushing himself on you break up w/ him & change your locks.
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 8:52 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

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