Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Why does my SO want me to leave town so badly??????

Ok, my SO has been pushing me to go visit my family in California, I see them monthly, so its not like I haven't been there in years. My SO desperatly wants me to go this weekend. I asked him why he is pushing it so hard and he said he just thinks it would be good for us to get some time apart, We've been fighting more lately then usual. My mom decided she wanted to come up here instead, so now I am not going and my SO was actually disappointed that I wasn't leaving and he keeps saying things like 'but now you only get to see your mom, you should really go down there'. It just seems weird that he would push this so hard... whats your opinion?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:40 AM on Jul. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Maybe he was hoping to plan some kind of surprise for you when you got back? like, he was going to clean the whole house, or buy a new tv or something? as an attempt to help stop the fighting

    Answer by JacyB at 11:41 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I'd ask him to be honest. It's obvious you have something in the back of your mind and that you think he is being shady. So just be straight up about it with him.

    Answer by sheena696 at 11:42 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Thinking positviley....I would think he was planning a suprise for you when you got back.
    Thinking negativiley..I would think he had something planned that he doesnt want you to know about.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:45 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • you answered your own question. you have not been getting along and he really wanted a break from the drama.

    Answer by sati769leigh at 11:46 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • You can't speculate too much on it, because really there's no way of knowing for sure what his exact intentions were or are. My imagination could run wild thinking of good or bad that hey might have been planning. Yet it's only theories, no facts.

    So my best thought would be... you know your history, his past, what the norm and unnorm is for him. If you're worried, you can always see if you and your mom can't stay at a inexpensive hotel and tell your SO that you're actually going. See what he does? If not, then just clear your mind until you have facts on things, and try not to let theories crowd your mind, and hurt your relationship.

    Good luck

    Answer by Skepticchick at 11:46 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • It could also be that he was really looking forward to some time without you. IDk, my stepdad likes when my mom goes out of town with the kids. He gets to drink beer and play video games all day without someone nagging him. That's my first thought.

    Answer by aluvk4evr at 11:48 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • DREAMING....I would think he was planning a suprise for you when you got back
    REAL LIFE..I would think he had something planned that he doesnt want you to know about.

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:51 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • it would bother me. But, my SO is paritally codependand...LOL, he gets sad when i do anything without him. He is like a puppy dog saying "take me too, take me too" So, if my SO did that, i would be CONVINCED he had something planned that he didn't want me to know about. I would have to do some sneaky investigating.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:58 AM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Since you said that you guys have been fighting a lot more lately, I think he was looking forward to you going on this trip to relax for a bit. I think he was also looking for some downtime himself. You get a break, he gets a break and its a win/win. Will your mother coming up this weekend cause more friction? I dont mean that your mom would cause more problems. But if you guys are already fighting a lot, will you be able to not fight all weekend in front of her? She doesnt need that, she could stay at home and not have to be in the middle of it. Something to think about...

    Answer by beyondhopes at 12:02 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • he may have just wanted some time to himself, I've been there.
    if your mom is coming, then you could get a hotel overnight somewhere and enjoy the hot tub and all that.

    He probably just wanted some time to himself, maybe with guy friends, running around in his underwear, watching whatever shows he liked, just bachelor time.
    btw- have you put him on some kind of diet or something? I've got guy pals that when on a diet they love it when their wives go away so they can eat all kinds of junk! :)
    if you are wondering, just talk to him.


    Answer by ItsMe89 at 12:08 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.