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If this was your child..(long story)

Im so confused on what I should do. I really need someone suggestions on what you would do in this situation. Ive been split up from my ex for 5 years now and divorced 3 years. In those 5 years my ex has done nothing to help out. Never would call to talk to our daughter. Well he met a lady and they got married. She is pregnant and he all of a sudden wanted something to do with my daughter. Mind he has an anger problem so I didnt want her over there when he was living alone and also wouldnt push the child support issue because I didnt want him any problems with him. I have a fiance now, who has been helpful with my daughter. We went for the child support. My ex denied to sign the papers. And hasnt compromised with me on ANYTHING! My daughter says she doesnt want to go over there because he has a bad temper. If i push the child support issue he has all rights to her..if i let him give his rights up then he dont..my so

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Jul. 21, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • i would let him sing off his rights... he dosent do nothing he should get to see her....
    my son father has never seen him and i wont let him he dosen't pay so i say f him and my son is way better off with my husband as his father then his sprem donner.. you know.

    your daughter will find out who he really is as she ges older. just make sure you don't bad mouth him in front of her. you know she dosen' need that good luck. it seems you are better off with out him anyway
    jacobmommy62106

    Answer by jacobmommy62106 at 2:24 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • If I were you, I'd get a lawyer and try to get your ex to sign away his rights and don't go after him for child support. If your daughter ever wants a relationship with him (as she gets older) she can do it on her terms with no legal recourse from dad. Good Luck
    ANGIE409

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 2:17 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • custody and child support are 2 seperate issues in the eyes of the courts. You can't deny him visitation even if he doesn't pay child support....not without a court order
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 2:18 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I would just push to get his rights taken from him or to have the child support enforced with the stipulation that he has no visitation due to his anger problem. Your daughter will take up for you on that. If you don't truly need the money then have his rights taken from him (which technically after 3 years of no contact that shouldn't be too hard... in my state that is an automatic consent to lose your rights just in no contact... you can pout an ad in the paper saying your revoking his rights and if he doesn't respond then there you go.)

    Speak to a lawyer if you have one or can afford one.

    Good luck!
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 2:20 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I agree Angie! My so is the one pushing the issue! I have tried to explain how uncomfortable she is to go over to his house and how it bothers me everytime she goes....this guy has really got temper issues..but he says the money would come in handy with bills and the kids...i would rather struggle!
    momnc28341

    Answer by momnc28341 at 2:20 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I wouldn't bother with child support and I would keep away from him - he is just bringing instability to your child's life and your child doesnt' even want to see him due to his anger.

    I would just keep him away. I wouldn't trust someone who had been in my daughters life for so long to do right by her and the fact he hasn't even shown a little that he wants her in his life (i.e. by paying support) sends a big warning flag.

    Keep him away and let your child have a peaceful life with you and your fiance.
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 2:21 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Can you prove he has a temper and could be unsafe for your daughter? If you can i'd take him to court for the child support and get the judge to waive his visitation rights (unless court supervised). My father hated having to have a SS worker there so he stopped trying to see me and still had to pay child support.
    wildwiccan83

    Answer by wildwiccan83 at 2:25 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • After reading all your comments I know now that my feelings are right! Im seriously going to talk to my so about this really hard and if he cant see me eye to eye on this so be it...i dont want to have to deal with the stress of my ex any longer...and its not fair for my daughter to have to go somewhere ..where she is miserable because my so thinks the bills are low and we need help....like i said id rather live struggling than the stress ive been dealing with.
    momnc28341

    Answer by momnc28341 at 2:26 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I agree with you. YOU are your daughter's mother. Don't compromise what you think is right because of your SO. As far as I'm concerned, he doesn't really have a say in this right now. You're not married yet, and you are the one who knows what is right for you and your daughter. I'd have the ex sign his rights away and thank God that you are able to raise your child without the heartache and complications from an ex. Do what you feel is right, don't let him tell you what to do. I'm a little worried for your future with him if he's being so pushy about you doing this. This would be a red flag to me if I were you. Good luck!
    AshleyBDG

    Answer by AshleyBDG at 2:33 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • still wants me to get child support...but i just want him out of mine and my daughters lives for good. He dont want to help and never asks how she is or if i need help......dont know what to do =(
    momnc28341

    Answer by momnc28341 at 2:18 PM on Jul. 21, 2010