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I am a single parent of a 17 year old girl. She seems kind of sullen lately and does not want to talk. She usually tells me when something is bothering her.

Two potential issues: She has a boyfriend who is going away and also has not been able to go on any trips this year. Funds have been short for me and she understands that but she hears her friends all talking about thier trips and is sad about that. But, she's not talking, which concerns me. How do you get to what's wrong with a teen who isn't talking

Answer Question
 
Gi46

Asked by Gi46 at 2:50 PM on Jul. 21, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • can you go on a long walk/hike? Maybe being out and about moving around will lighten her mood enough to open up. There will be no distractions from tv, phone, radio, etc. It will be neutral territory. I have great talks when we are out and about.

    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 2:52 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • The best that you can do is give her space. First though, let her know that you really want to hear what's going on and that you're always here for her. She just needs to know you've got her back, but since you can't force her to talk there's not much else you can do. And if you do try to force her to talk then she might shut down even more. Maybe you can try to boost her spirits with a mother/daughter day. Something cheap just for the two of you to have some fun. Just try to be there for her and she'll come around when she's ready.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 2:52 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Take her out and have a quality time girls day. Start with lunch, then shopping, then a movie, and dinner, all day just you and her, hopefully you'll get through to her heart by the time the day's over, and hopefully have fun and bond a little more too. :) Good luck.
    AshleyBDG

    Answer by AshleyBDG at 2:53 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • LOL... wow those first 3 suggestions couldnt be futher apart!

    1) go out side away from it all with her
    2) leave her alone, give her space
    3) go someplace with people and activity

    LOL... now what will you do????
    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 2:55 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Thanks for your comments, great advice!
    Gi46

    Comment by Gi46 (original poster) at 2:55 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I guess I'm just new to the teenage shut-down thing. She normally talks to me and we have a very communicative relationship normally. I'm just wondering if I should be more concerned.
    Gi46

    Comment by Gi46 (original poster) at 2:56 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Sahlady,

    Each answer, though different do kind of give me some options. She asked to go to her father's house for a while so I will leave it at that. But I will take her out for a girl's day soon. I really like that idea.
    Gi46

    Comment by Gi46 (original poster) at 2:58 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Do you guys ever do the dinner and a movie night at home? My dd will be 18 next month, sometimes we do this movie night where we get a redbox movie and snacky foods. We put a blanket on the livingroom floor, spread out with our snacks and watch a movie together. Just hang out with her. I think thats what she wants more then anything right now, is just for you to be there. Good luck hon :)
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 3:08 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Thanks beyond hopes!
    Gi46

    Comment by Gi46 (original poster) at 3:09 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • If she has told you things in the past. She will continue, just give her space.
    NubianQueen03

    Answer by NubianQueen03 at 3:34 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

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