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What do I do? HELP!!! Porn related! adult content

So I just logged onto my s/o computer and found he's been looking at porn while I sleep! If this were u what would u do? I already feel bad enough about my weight and all then find this stuff and yes it was more than 2 or 3 web sites!! I'm bawling, he's at work, and all I can think to do is to go up there and get my vechicle and leave him. I'm hurt by this, and yes I know all guys look at porn I just wish he would look at it with me and not without me! I'm just very very upset by this. Am I over reacting? Ok I'm sure to some degree I am, I don't want to leave him, I love him more than anything. I just really want to know WHY!! Why jack off with me in the next room? I give it to him everytime he wants it, and he selxdom gives it to me when I want it, which is ALL the time! I just don't get it! I don't know what to do!! HELP!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Jul. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • You are over reacting, it is not like he has got a mistress, your insecurities could be the cause of this reaction of yours, why not work on your self esteem instead of thinking about leaving a man you love?
    older

    Answer by older at 3:11 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Just talk to him about it.

    You can't help how you feel so no you aren't overreating. Better out then in.

    Also not all guys look at porn - my boyfriend did when he was younger but no anymore.
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 3:12 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Yes I agree with above, I think the fact that you are insecure with your body has a lot to do with this. Y not tell him you are interested in watching it together?
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 3:13 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • My Husband doesn't look at porn... Talk to him about it. Were they "Fetish" sites? Maybe he has a fetish he is embarassed to talk to you about or something?
    firethearson

    Answer by firethearson at 3:13 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I think that simply leaving him over this is a serious over-reaction. If you really feel that strongly about him watching porn, you need to TALK to your SO. Figure out why he's watching the porn - is he unhappy with the sex he's getting? Maybe there's a fantasy he's too nervous to tell you about. Maybe he just likes porn. Maybe he didn't want to wake you.

    In my opinion, porn is a fun thing, and as long as it's not getting in the way of your marriage (ie, as long as my DH is still having plenty of sex with ME, and not only watching porn), it's not a big deal for me. DH watches it, I watch it. Maybe one day we'll even watch it together - it could be fun.

    Anyway, I urge you to have a CALM, RATIONAL discussion with your SO that does not involve yelling at him or freaking out. And no ultimatums. Tell him how you feel and come to a conclusion together. Communicate. That's what couples do.
    WomanWitty

    Answer by WomanWitty at 3:14 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I'm with you on the hiding part. I'm ok with porn, but not if he's hiding it. You need to talk with him about it. And work on your self esteem, although, this was a huge blow. Nothing is going to get worked out if you don't talk about it.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 3:15 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • First of all if you suspect you're going to find something that hurts your feelings, don't log onto his computer.

    Second of all, calm down. I still get a lil hurt by my BF looking at porn, but I have to say that I have noticed something. Just because they look doesn't mean they masturbate. They may just be looking.

    He may have been doing it that way to stop from hurting your feelings because if you have this big of a deal with it why would he shove it in your face? He is at least respecting your feelings here.

    He doesn't have sex all the time.. maybe he isn't always in the mood. I know I'm not.

    And the biggest help of all to me when I get upset about it is to remember he is only looking at pictures. Those women will NEVER have sex with him and probably wouldn't if they had the opportunity... our men aren't rich enough, lol. And if you think about it, they are worth how much?

    (cont'd)
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 3:16 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I understand what you're going through.
    It's a self-esteem thing - more than a 'cheating' thing. And guys don't get it.
    You're not overreacting - you're just hurt. Try to calm down and gather your thoughts so when he gets home, you can talk to him about it without starting a huge fight.
    And don't say things like "YOU did that, YOU did that" - instead reword your feelings to sound less accusatory so he doesn't feel like he's being attacked. Example: "Finding this stuff on the computer makes me feel bad about myself - like there is something wrong with me."
    Good luck
    Blubuni99

    Answer by Blubuni99 at 3:16 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • A magazine is worth on average about $11.99 so we might as well go with an easier figure of $12. There are about (yes I have looked at magazines and sadly know) 10 pictures of each professional (on average what? About 5?) in the magazine and about 80+ pictures of other little tramps, plus ads. That equals (just in the professionals and tramps) each woman being worth about LESS than 10 cents a hoe bag per mag! :) Lol. That amkes me feel better!

    Also if they are looking online they aren't paying and those girls aren't worth shit! They degrade themselves completely!
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 3:19 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • You should talk to him and let him know how he makes you feel. At first I had a very hard time dealing with my hubby watching porn, I felt disresected and it made me feel like shit, like I wasn't enough and it made me feel ugly. I'm very petite and he likes 'thick" girls so all he would watch was porn of "thick" girls and it would make me feel like crap, I went through extreme measures to try to gain weight and get a little thick but it didn't work. I finally told him that he needed to accept the fact that I was never going to be like those women, and he said..."I don't want you to be, I love you the way you are" which made me feel better and after that I didn't mind so muc hthat he watched porn we tried watching it together..(I've never watched porn) and it was sooo graphic and I just stopped watching...but I tell him he can as long as he doesn't do it with the kids in the room or when they're awake. I guess its a guy thing.
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 3:20 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

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