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Telling the truth after a lie

I need you to put yourself in this situation and tell me what would you do.

Consider you were dating a guy that seemed to be your dream man, you went through some drama with the ex (his) for quite a while, but havent argued or broached the subject that used to cause soo much tension in the past in awhile. So he rightfuly assumes everything is good and you guys keep progressing. You have another child and have talked about getting married just about since you got together. Now your job is offering dental insurance both of you need your teeth fixed, you love him would you get married now to get ins. coverage!? Oh and heres the catch...YOUR NOT ACTUALLY OVER THE PAST?! you know you love him and want to be together, your "happy" moreso than not...but would you take the plunge.?

Sorry this is so long and confusing!!! HELP PLEASE!


Asked by sweetstkissez22 at 4:21 PM on Jul. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,070 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • is it really worth bringing up again? Would it accomplish anything,put your mind to rest-I mean REALLY put your mind to rest,or do you jus feel like you need to have your say? I have felt like I needed to have my say and brought things up just to have things blow up and it not accomplish anything and it end up not doing either of us ANY good. She is his EX and that should be good enough. If he makes you feel secure and you know in your heart he is your love,I would let it go.I really would. Think it through very long before you bring it up.

    Answer by phall1069 at 4:27 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • So, you want to get married for dental insurance? Ya, not a good reason. If you have any doubts you need to wait. Be honest with him and hash it out. You can't move forward until you are comfortable with the past..GL

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 4:23 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • no, i would not. i would want to put the past in the past before i made a lifetime commitement.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 4:25 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Nope, just the fact that your asking this question to me is a big red flag.

    Answer by isabellalecour at 4:23 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I don't want to judge you at all. I just want to say that if you having enough second thoughts to ask this question on cafemom then the answer is probably no you should not do it. Insurance won't be worth it. You need to be sure. Marriage needs to be taken more seriously.

    Answer by hsmominky at 4:29 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • So, you want to get married for dental insurance?

    if this even came up in my thinking about marriage, i would not

    Answer by fiatpax at 4:30 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I wanted to get married sooner because of the insurance window. Without the coverage the work we need will put us in the whole a few thousand dollars!!! We were gonna get married anyway...just closer to Christmas!!! Thanks for your input ladies! The ex issue is becasue they are still friends...and yes i know only friends...........hard to explain..........UGGG and i had to ask on here because i am friendless..well almost...i dont like family in my businiess all tend to have a wide variety of opinions..i love my fellow mommies! lol..

    Comment by sweetstkissez22 (original poster) at 4:47 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • The answer is "No".
    First of all, NEVER get married for a child, for insurance, for any other reason then you and him being together forever. If you get married for any other reason then your commitment to him as the love of your life you are doomed for failure.
    Second, if you're not over the past then you shouldn't get married. You should never get married to someone when you still have baggage you're holding onto or issues between one another that you're holding onto. It'll come up later on and it will cause issues with your marriage. You need to deal with that now.
    Third, You're "Happy" .. Doesn't sound like you're too happy to me. You shouldn't be getting married at all. Not yet. You need to figure out your life, figure out the past situations, and make yourselves a happy foundation to stand on. If that can't happen then you need to part ways.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 4:58 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • in Tx, just last week, the insurance person at my fiance's work told him he could indeed cover me and my son since we have lived together for longer than 6 months. We are considered "common law". So.... idk ur state's take on that but this is what we're doing in TX!

    Answer by TXColter at 5:17 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Hm. Thats worth a shot i think i might call it off until we can get married the way we want to altogether!

    Comment by sweetstkissez22 (original poster) at 5:37 PM on Jul. 21, 2010