Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Loaning Relatives Money?

What has your experience been? I need to hear the good and the bad. My sister moved in with my mom after her divorce and she was jobless and basically depended on my mom for everything including her car payment. My mom is out of work in the summers and goes back in the fall. So every year she budgets very well knowing she doesn't receive a check for 3 months. Long story short my mom had to pay my sister's tuition, carnote and insurance and has fallen back in her own car payment! I loaned my sister 300 bucks in February It is now July and I still haven't seen a cent. So now my sister IS working and is bringing 2000 a month and I feel like it her responsibility to start paying my mom back and she feels like we (my brother and I) should loan my mom money for her car payment. She also mentions how she can give my mom some money too. WTH! My mom would would have the money if she hadn't been supporting her!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:22 PM on Jul. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Hmm. That's definitely NOT an ideal situation. I have loaned my sister money before (somewhere around $1500) for a car and she paid it all back to me within a year. She made little payments to me all the time. I appreciated her aggressiveness to pay me back, even if she could only give me $50 a paycheck, she would.

    While I expect people to pay me back, I always count the money as GONE if it's not in my bank account. I hope your sister gets her head out of the ground soon.
    mickstinator

    Answer by mickstinator at 4:27 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I do not "loan" money to relatives. If I have the money to give. I just give it, with no expectations or plans of it being paid back. I just give it as a gift.

    My past experiences have led me to that mindset. Loaning money to family members never turned out well for me.. Caused more problems than anything else. So I decided years ago, that the best way to help, and make it easier for myself, and in order to limit my own aggrevation was to just give the money as a gift and never think or use the word "loan".

    My decision to just give instead of loan. Is purely selfish on my part. It really is. I love to help when help is needed, and I'm usually in the position of being able to help. I just don't like the stress and aggrevation that comes along with "loaning" someone money. I have no need or want for those kinds of hassles.. lol.. Like I said. Purely selfish on my part..
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:33 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I never give or loan money to relatives.
    Your sister needs to pay your mother back. She's an adult and she's working so she needs to be responsible for her debt to mom! Otherwise she is just being selfish and its a handout not a loan.
    Tell mom to start charging her rent for the room.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 4:36 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I have loaned my parents money, because my dad has been out of work for two years. I haven't seen a cent back, but he is unable to find work and unemployment keeps being cancled. Therefore, I'm not worried about him paying us back. As long as they're still able to live with food and a roof over their heads.

    Now, as far as your situation goes .You, your brother, and your mom need to be on her about paying your mom back. It IS her responsibility, because she put her mom into this situation. She's being selfish and someone needs to put her in her place.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 4:53 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Your mom has to be the one to put her foot down regarding your sister. Your mom was the one to allow her to move back in. Your mom made the choice to pay your sisters tuition and car loan. Therefore it is up to your mom to put her foot down and stop allowing her grown daughter to run all over her. I know it hurts to see your sibling take advantage of your mom and it hurts to turn your back on your mom but if you step in, your sister will continue doing this and your mom will always run to you and your brother to bail them out...If you do step in, I would get it in writing that payment is due within six months. I would also explain to my mother that this is the last and final time that I will pick up the pieces.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:18 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I believe that loaning money to friends and relatives is never a good idea.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 6:38 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I have a relative (a close one) to whom I have loaned literally thousands to over the years. I have never seen a cent of it back. Also, doing things (catering a couple of weddings for family) they still owe us. Loaning money, no matter who it is, is a bad idea.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 4:38 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN