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3 Bumps

Saw this on Tyra. Where do you stand?

One how do you feel about nudity in the home. You the kids DH etc etc.
Two what about sex in the home? If your 18 year old wants to have sex will you allow it under your roof?
Three snooping, good or bad? Just wondering it was on Tyra lol.

Answer Question

Asked by delilahsmom1177 at 5:45 PM on Jul. 21, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 19 (7,071 Credits)
Answers (27)
  • 1. No nudity around the house
    2. No sex under my roof
    3.Yes to snooping

    Answer by adakbride at 5:46 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I have no issue with nudity in the home - that's what the home is for. My kids are naked all the time! lol!
    As for sex, I don't teach or expect my kids to wait til they are over 18 or out of my house. I do however expect that they do it safely and because THEY choose to, not because they are being pressured. I also expect that their partner is over 16 (legal age of consent) and if they are going to do it in our house then we need to have some kind of signal... I always hated when my ex's mom would walk in on us and I lived there...
    As for snooping - I am 100% against it. If you trust your kids so little that you need to snoop, then you need to be adjusting some parenting. Having a mother who went through my room at least once a week I can tell you from personal experience if a parent snoops there is no trust on either end. I never trusted her frankly still don't.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 5:50 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Nudity is perfectly fine right now. If the children show concern or become uncomfortable it will stop. (They are little now.)
    No sex unless married under my roof.
    No snooping unless lied to. I would try to talk about my concerns with the other person first.

    Answer by love2snorkel70 at 5:50 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • 1) I'd say running around in undies is fine, but not lazing about stark naked.
    2) Only if they are married.
    3) No, unless I was absolutely certain something bad was going on my child was refusing to talk to me about it. I would also be upfront about it, so I don't think it would be considered snooping.

    Answer by LovableNeurotic at 5:51 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • 1. no nudity in my house
    2. my daughter will be on birth control at 15 and most teens will have sex in a car if they dont have a house to go to ( i would know lol) so as long as i dont hear it or see it i guess it ok!
    3 yes to snooping

    Answer by Caroline2010 at 5:52 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • 1. nudity to a point is fine. While the kids were small I had no problem with it. My 15 yr old daughter and 9 yr old daughter see me naked all the time. (Im not walking around but they will come in to talk while Im getting dressed)

    2. HELL no. My child will not have my permission to have sex in my home until they are married... and still I think it is tacky. I dont have sex in my mil home nor in my parents home.

    3. Parent on child snooping... I have no issue. If I am concerned my child is making poor life choices it is my duty to help them in any way possible. If I can not get the truth then I must go after in any way I can. If im doing it just to do it... well that isnt very nice. 


    Answer by sahlady at 5:54 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • 1) my kids are 5 and 3 and walk in on me in the shower daily, they also think its hilarious to watch Dh get changed, the sight of his "hiney" breaks them out in hysterics. I will be comfortable nude in front of them until they aren't anymore. I do not want to give the message that in the privacy of their own home their bodies are something to be ashamed of....tough one to teach when I happen to hate mine, but I grin and bare it, literally, lol. I do not walk around naked, but if they see me naked I don't get all slam the door, or shriek and cover up, I just let it be.
    2) Sex under my roof is a tough one...98% of the time I would say no to this, but we'll see, I have 13 years to go before one of them is 18. Questions for me would be, are they in a serious and loving relationship, in college, have a job, overall responsible human beings, etc. etc. Even then, its hard to think of a teenager having sex in my home..cont.

    Answer by gramsmom at 5:55 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Sabrina I love you lol. I am with you on all of those! I wanted to see what others said first
    Right no my DD is butt naked!
    When she is old enough as long as I am warned she can have sex in my home as long as she is on BC and I know the person and they are careful and over 16!
    Snooping no way!
    The one mom who was against nudity, sex in her home, and snooped was a teen mom! She did drugs etc etc. The one mom who was fine with nudity, gave her son condoms going to sleep away camp(he was 16) and never snooped, her 23 year old just graduated from college all her kids are A students and none have been pregnant or have an STD. Her DD even came to her and told her she was having sexual relations(not sex yet) ! I want my DD to be like THAT!

    Comment by delilahsmom1177 (original poster) at 5:57 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • 3. Snooping. Well, can we call it monitoring instead? I would absolutely monitor my tween or teen's FB account, and if my child gave me any reason whatsoever to think they are up to no good I would absolutely snoop, but if they give me no reason, I would not go through their room or read a diary, etc. . But if I think my child is mixed up with drugs or something else bad like that, you can bet your @$$ I'm going to do all I can to get to the bottom of things in an effort to right their ship.

    Answer by gramsmom at 5:58 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • 1) we don't flaunt it but we are relaxed about running around in underwear and such. I don't want them to grow up ashamed of their bodies . Like there is some big sin in being naked.

    2) Absolutely not.. I have also asked my grown sons to refrain when they visit.

    3) Snooping ONLY after being caught lying, stealing or drug and alcohol related issues. With my boys, and now with the grandkids..the first time you snoop just to be nosy..they will never talk to you in trust again. I always tried to talk first. I respect their room as their private place UNTIL they violate the rules..then it's no holes barred.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 6:02 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

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