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How can I get these kids to respect me and see me as an authority?

I have been babysitting a couple kids and the oldest is 10 years old. He is very manuplative and doesn't listen at all. He teases his younger sister and teaches her bad words that she is repeating in front of my kids. I look young for my age and kids don't seem to think they have to listen to me. I don't know how to discipline kids like this. I hate to tell their mom every little thing they did wrong. How do I go about getting respect from these kids? It is like this with other kids in our neighborhood that come over too. I am normally soft-spoken but try to be as firm as I can.

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reesemom

Asked by reesemom at 5:48 PM on Jul. 21, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 16 (2,190 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • You just need to tell him that in your home his behavior is not ok....and if can't respect your rules then he will have a consequence. If he cusses he can sit in time out for awhile, have a area/space in you home to send him. If he talks back to you then it will sit in time out longer. If he is just out of control then he will be grounded in your home no playing,no tv, no nothing until he can follow the rules. You need to be honest with him mom about his behavior and how if it continues what steps you will be taking and if it doesn't seem to be working she needs to support you and tell him that he will be grounded at home too if he continues to disobey you and follow simple directions/rules. If she gets an attitude then maybe babysitting this kid isn't a good idea and you can give her 30 day notice or whatever that you will no longer be sitting for him due to his bad behavior. Be strong!! be firm!!! and don't take crap.
    geminisummerz

    Answer by geminisummerz at 5:55 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • or tell the mom that if you have to put up with his disrespect and bad behavior you will have to raise your rate $$$$$$....lol. Good luck.
    geminisummerz

    Answer by geminisummerz at 5:56 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • talk to their mom about a behavior plan... you get a sticker chart. find them online for free and print them 4 free. everyday they are good they get a smile on the box in the chart (they range from 3 box charts to the 100's) and when they fill the chart they get the reward. for ALL the kids. also talk about when something bad happens, that you are going to have to take away something they like or value -- because a 10 yr old wont sit in time out if he doesnt listen to begin with. something like tv or video games or being allowed to play with neighbors/peers. ya cant beat him. lol... so just show him you have the power. even if it doesnt work you will be rewarding the good kids and making him jealous of their rewards.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 5:57 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • You just need to show them who is in charge. I have a feeling that these kids do the same thing to their mother. I would talk to the mother about how she disciplines her children and then I would talk with her about what the agreed upon discipline will be. Then BOTH of you need to talk to the kids. If they continue to disrespect you, I would stop watching them. I have very little tolerance for disrespectful children and will not tolerate it for very long before I snap.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:58 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • A ten year old is at that age where they want to be able to watch themselves. He especially needs a lot of activity and lots of them need to be outside. Keep him busy, give him some duties that the younger children can not do yet. Just clear it all with their Mom first. Even ask her if what he likes to do. Also let him have some to himself to read comics or something like that. See if there are some neighborhood children that are closer to his age that can come over. Kids that age are easier to watch if they have a friend to be around.


     

    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 5:58 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Set YOUR rules down clearly. IF their parents disagree..find another job...I use time-out. Get you a timer and use it. 1 min. for each yr. the child is old. Enforce time-out the 1st time the rule is broken.Do not allow anyone to talk or respond to the child during time-out. It works for me and mine. When their parents are around they have learned if they break my rules I do not respond. Discpline is the parent's responsibility then. They know not to break my rules when I am in charge. Good Luck
    KISS1224

    Answer by KISS1224 at 5:59 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I can't get him to go outside for anything. I guess he is not an outdoors person, we have lots to do outside. He would rather play video games
    reesemom

    Comment by reesemom (original poster) at 6:01 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • If nothing works then you have no choice but to no longer watch them. When I had a family daycare in my home I too had to let a couple of families find another provider because of disruptive behavior. Most of the time a solution was found when we all put our heads together and found a way to make it work. But the couple of families that wouldn't help me find a solution were the ones that had to find someone else.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 6:11 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Give him a certain amount of time to play video games if he is following your rules and respecting you by doing what he is told. He should also have so outdoor time, whether he likes it or not...don't ask him if he wants to go outside to play, tell him that he needs to shut off the video game by such and such time...he's old enough to tell time right? and also, remind him when that time rolls around...that now it's time to shout the video games/ tv off and go outside to play.Remember your in charge not him...your the adult taking care of these kids, if you show them who's in charge then they will have no choice but to respect you and your rules...kids are very good manipulators and if you allow them to control the situation then they will walk all over your and your rules.
    geminisummerz

    Answer by geminisummerz at 6:23 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • You need to tell him that it is your house, your rules. Also, I think the kids parents should be supporting your rules.
    mereinhart28

    Answer by mereinhart28 at 6:26 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

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