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14 Bumps

how do I get my mother-in-law to just leave me alone and stop telling me how to raise my daughter.

She is just showing up at my house constantly, calling me on the phone 4-6 times weekly, and getting on my last nerve. My husband works 72 hour shifts and she feels as if she needs to be watching me constantly. She makes me feel like a bad mother and an even worse wife because I just want to punch her in the face.

 
kimeg04

Asked by kimeg04 at 7:26 PM on Jul. 21, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 4 (44 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (35)
  • Run her over with the car
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:24 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • tell her I am the mother you are the grandmother you have raised your kids now let me raise mine. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:32 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • The next few times she shows up unannounced, say something like, "oh, I was just getting ready to go out. You can come back tomorrow between 3 and 5 if you want to visit. If she doesn't get the hint, your husband needs to be the one to tell her that coming over unannounced and constantly badgering his wife is unacceptable behavior and must stop. Also, don't answer the phone when she calls, or if you don't have callerID, tell her you were just a)getting in the shower; b)putting the baby down for a nap; c) leaving, and if she wants to talk to your husband to call between ___ and ___ on (insert day name here.)
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 7:33 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Stop answering the phone and door. Nobody has the right to invade your privacy like that. And you need to have your husband go talk to her.
    getrealmama

    Answer by getrealmama at 7:32 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Maybe in her way she is trying to help since hubby isn't there. Have a talk and tell her how you feel. I bet she has no clue how you feel.
    mollgirl

    Answer by mollgirl at 7:32 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Tell her straight up. "I appreciate that you're trying to help but I can manage on my own. You are more than welcome to come and see the kids but I would prefer it if you didn't show up unannounced and uninvited. I am fully capable of taking care of my children and if I want or need advice on a certain subject then I will ask. Until I do so could you please keep your comments to yourself."

    If you have caller id then you can just ignore her calls.
    I turn my ringer off if I don't want to talk to anyone.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 7:36 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Next time she comes over you ask her to watch the baby for a while so you can take a shower and get caught up on housework. Tell her you appreciate her help and thank her for offering. Then once you've taken a LONG shower, you hand her a list of things she can do to help like laundry, dishes, vacuuming and preparing dinner. Then you sit back and enjoy your baby while she does all the work. I bet she'll come around a lot less! lol
    Seriously, though, you have to talk to her...nicely. Just tell her how much you appreciate her help but that you're a grown woman and you'd like a shot at doing this mom/wife thing on your own. She was already a mom and wife, now it's your turn. Good luck!
    EwansMommy

    Answer by EwansMommy at 10:46 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Tell me about it my MIL is the same way after all the bs she tells me about my daughter or how to clean my house or what to clean I finally told her one day that I am the mother of my daughter and I can do what ever I want with her and as for the cleaning I clean everyday and I am preg. and she expects me to clean the celling fans anyways I told her I didnt want to clean them and when I felt like it I would that I didnt need anyone to tell me how to clean my house or what to clean that if I wanted to I would keep my house dirty if I flet like it.
    babycakeschris

    Answer by babycakeschris at 7:42 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Bump
    CokietheClown

    Answer by CokietheClown at 7:32 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I agree with SWasson. Also, even if you are not leaving, tell her you are not up for company and if she calls next time you will let her know when is a good time to come over.
    kemclaughlin

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 7:36 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

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