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Do I need therapy?

7 years ago we moved from one state to another to be closer to dh's family. His mother is in her 70's and was ill at the time. MIL is fine now. My problem is after we moved here dh could not find a job which was not so bad since our children were not of school age yet. He promised me he would continue looking for a job while he cared for the children and when he found one the kids would go to daycare. Well somewhere along the way he stopped looking. The bills starting piling up. My job alone was not making ends meet. So after 4 years I finally lost it and told him get a job or move out. He got a job he loved. Well almost 2 years ago he got layed off and started collecting unemployment and went back to school. The bills are piling up again and he promised me when he graduates in December he will find a job. I am starting to recent him. I feel I have missed out on so much of my kids life. I don't trust him.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:10 PM on Jul. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • sounds extremely stressful hun...you may feel better if you talk this out with a therapist!
    MommyH2

    Answer by MommyH2 at 10:12 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • no you just need a good punching bag
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:13 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • life is very hard. marriage is even harder. it would be a shame for him to be so close to graduating, and quit to get a job. hang in there mama! it can be so hard when you have different work ethics :(
    good luck!
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 10:14 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I don't see where therapy would help. Your feelings of resentment are valid. That's what a therapist would tell you. You set the boundaries. He offered to return to work when he graduates. I'm not sure what else he can do. His unemployment should be helping. Why not trim the bills? It's too late for him to get a student loan to help out. So just waiting until Dec sounds like a good deal.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:15 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Probably, you do. But that's not a bad thing. It's not good to resent your spouse, and as it gets closer to him graduating, you will get more stressed out, and more resentful. He will not react well to that, and may get resentful towards you. That would be disastrous. So, therapy is probably a good idea. And drag him along, too. After a few sessions, so the therapist knows what's going on. Then HE gets therapy, too, without seeing it coming. Tell him you need him to go with you, to support you. If it's a good therapist, which I hope it is, he will get some help without even really knowing it.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:18 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • i would give him a chance to do what he said. wait until he graduates in dec. and then go from there. i know it's stressful but dec. is not that far away.....
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 10:18 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • completely understandable. I once told my husband that he should be ashamed of himself, because I was the one taking care of our family and he was "trying" to get a jo while in the meantime I was working and walking to work pregnant just to pay the bills. My husband has a criminal record so I do understand where its hard for him to get a job, he's gotten so many and then on the day he was suppose to start they've called him and told him not to come in. It sucks but yes, It gets very tiring taking care of the family and the husband all by yourself. Talk to him and if you want bring applications for him that way he has no excuses.
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 10:19 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • therapy definetly seems like it would help. Its always nice to have someone not involved to talk with and get advice from good luck sweetie!
    soccerchik8287

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 10:19 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Look at it this way... What could you possibly lose by going to a therapist??
    itsjaimiehere

    Answer by itsjaimiehere at 10:26 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Keeping involved with a good way of reaching out for a support network, a therapist due to stresses that build is a great for keeping track of what is really going on. It's your life. Invest in the best methods of meeting a counseling therapist. I know that they are good for giving your mind a break and in this world we all need that exit. They are in love with their job. They will be a guiding light and support.
    Good luck
    coffeeyum

    Answer by coffeeyum at 10:33 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

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