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What should I do about my 20 year old son??Am I wrong??

Ok here's the deal he works a part time job 20-30 hrs. a week and he thinks he shouldn't have to follow our house rules anymore, he thinks he shouldn't have to do household chores because he pays us rent money but he also complains that he has to pay us rent!!! He gets paid $400-$600 every 2 weeks, we charge him $50 a week( he says it's not fair that we take so much of his money) and that's for rent,cable,high speed internet, food, electricity,heat,hot water and we give him rides everywhere and I wash and dry his laundry, we do all the cooking as well !!!! I don't agree with my son and I'm getting frustrated, I wan't give him a dose of reality and have it out with him and tell him how I feel or I want to tell him he has 30 days to get out !

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:18 PM on Jul. 21, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (34)
  • Do it. Seriously. You would be doing him a favor. He sounds spoiled!

    Answer by xoxticiaxox at 10:21 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Sounds like he needs to get a taste of real life. Kick his butt out and let him see how much it takes to run a household. I am 20 years old and a mother of soon to be three children. My husband and I have a nice sized house, two vehicles, and pay all of our bills on time. Quit babying him!

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 10:21 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • i would tell him that he's right. he doesn't have to follow our house rules. he doesn't have to do chores. he can get his own place and do whatever he wants. and gl finding an apartment for $50/month, utilities and food included. and mom, stop doing his laundry, regardless of if he decides to leave or straighten up. he is an adult now. i would give him his 30 day notice or the option to stop the complaining and realize what a gift he's being given

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 10:22 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Yes make him move out. My parents told me to move out right after I graduated. They gave me until Sep. I have never been back and I learned the hard way how things were. I would trade how everything went.

    Answer by ashisamom at 10:22 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I hate saying this but give him a choice. Your rules or he can find somewhere elwe. He'll start growing up when he realizes what normal bills, rent, food,etc.. costs

    Answer by ajmfmommy at 10:22 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Yeah he sounds spoiled. He's a grown adult and you do his laundry? I think he needs to start doing his own and step up on helping around the house or kick him out on his ass. Hell just kick him out he needs to know what real life is like.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:24 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Me being a 29 year old living at home I can be of some help I think (my husband and I went through a job loss so we had not choice but to move in). First off, he is old enough to do things for his own. I take care of my family's laundry (husband, daughter, and myself). We take care of all of our cleaning, and maintance of our areas. We do the yard and any other chores my mom and dad need help with. We also help with cooking. My 32 year old brother lives at home still only because he is unable to live on his own because of some reasons that are complicated. My mom does not make him do anything. She has taught him no life skills such as cleaning, managing a budget, cooking, doing laundry and dishes that he is able to do. Because of this, he is lazy and uses and abuses my parents to do things for him. I say, tell him this is what is going to happen or he needs to move out and do it all on his own. Tough love

    Answer by vickwu at 10:27 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Reality Check!

    Answer by MommyH2 at 10:29 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I think he does need to get a dose of reality, 50 dollars isn't much, but remember, that he is a kid and he's learning about adult life.
    as far as the rules go, I would need to hear more as to what kind or rules you wanted him to follow.
    it sounds to me like you and your son want it both ways. you want him to pay rent, but still act like he did when he was a kid. He's not exactly a kid anymore.
    he figures if you are taking rent, you should only have so much say over him.
    I think that you need to sit down with possibly a third party and see if you can work out a compromise.
    let's say, he has to help with buying some of his own food, do his own laundry and help with cooking.
    as for you, if you are still trying to give him a curfew at 20, that's not realistic. if the house rules are no leaving dishes on the floor, then OK.
    try and find some common ground with the house rules.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 10:31 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Your rules or leave.  If you talk to him and he doesn't listen give him the 30 days.  I am going through this with my  20 year old stepson right now.  He has been out of school for 3 years and it has been a constant fight with his father.  We don't charge rent.  He has been playing like a child.  If I was his mom I would have said rules rent or get out.  I just couldn't get his father to back me up.  His father finally saw the light.  My stepson signed a lease with  his friend and moves out on the first.  He seems excited and I think it will help him all around.  Don't let it go on forever 20 years old is old enough.


    Answer by mommom2000 at 10:31 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

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