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my close friend and i stopped being friends bc she spanks and i dont.. we have now made peace

both realizing that we each parent there our own way. and know one way is more right then the other.. many hurtful things were said on both ends bc we trying to hurt each other... in the heat of the moment...my husband was AND STILL IS beyond pissed off that she would try to tell us how to parent... i understood in a way where she was coming from bc my son was hitting her kids.. often during play dates...AND at the time i tried time out and that didnt work out. now i have since started taking toys away. such as his beloved buzz doll or his hammer tool set ELMO. etc.. no he has not been perfect mind u he is 2 and half.. but its Improving Alot... and we do stickers as rewards for good days. we decided to keep the kids apart for awhile and work on our friend ship...did i mention she lives in the condos where we live so making peace was good for everyone.. but my dh is still pissed and doesnt want her in our house..wht wul u d

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Rydersmommy616

Asked by Rydersmommy616 at 11:25 PM on Jul. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,405 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • let it sort itself out with your husband. Make a rule that if shes in your home she needs to remove the kids if shes going to spank. Other wise, I would keep doing what your doing.
    lovmyhubby

    Answer by lovmyhubby at 11:28 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • get over it pretty much, everyone has different parenting styles and as long as you guys respect that it shouldnt be a big deal
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:29 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • Every1 will b diff parents but I do find it annoying they would try n tell u how 2 parent ur kids..however if u guys alrdy made peace juss go n do activities at her house OR other places 2 avoid ur husband seein here..the more he notices ur making sacrifices tryin 2 have play dates he could change his mind
    Leilene07

    Answer by Leilene07 at 11:29 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • I would do playdates at a park or go to her house for visits. You could even have her over when your husband isn't home until he warms up to the idea and sees that you guys are getting along for a bit. I wouldn't make a rule to not spank in your house though...your friendship wont last long if you do because old feelings will surface. You've both accepted that you parent different so don't go making rules on how she should discipline her children in your home. Not saying you made that rule, just responding to lovemyhubby's response. Good luck;)
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 11:31 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • IM over it i just wonder if my dh has the right to tell who he wants in OUR house...? she still tells me that im not following the ways of the bible.. and i still tell her that i think spanking is hyprocritcal.. but now we agree to disagree...i was the at the pool today with my son and i saw her spank her son in the court yard.. and i said nothing.. when she came by house a little awhile ago... she still kinda of hints saying that my son is going to make me a push over .. but over all i miss her as a friend. and i does my husband have the right to say i cnt have her over
    Rydersmommy616

    Comment by Rydersmommy616 (original poster) at 11:36 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • i dnt care what she does with her son...even in my house... thats her child. i just dont want to be told that my son needs to be spanked or he will turn out a misfit... besides that im keeping the kids apart until.. i can fully trust my sons behavior..but . she stops by un announced and now im like watching the clock for when my dh comes home... i feel like a teenager or something
    Rydersmommy616

    Comment by Rydersmommy616 (original poster) at 11:43 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • i think he does have some say in it. but she is not his friend, she is yours. i'v had problems with friends in the past and he eventually got over them.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 11:47 PM on Jul. 21, 2010

  • wow you didnt say it clearly but I gather she spanked your son... if so yes I too would have been irritated! But to speak to her and tell her look you do your kids and let me handle mine... being a different parent makes niether of you a bad one!
    cracklinbread

    Answer by cracklinbread at 12:08 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • sorry i guess i said it wrong... if she would have touched my son i would have called the cops on her in 2 seconds flat
    Rydersmommy616

    Comment by Rydersmommy616 (original poster) at 12:12 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • you and your husband need to make a decision together. right now you're both insisting on your own ways. sit down and talk to him about the value of the friendship and the compromise you have with your friend. listen to his objections. find a way to come to some common ground. both your feelings need to be respected. he does have the right to not allow people in his home that he feels do not respect him and you have the right to ask him to not hold grudges.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 1:14 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

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