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Idk if I should be bothered?

A couple of days ago, my husband told me he used the money that was suppose to buy our house with to pay his mom's rent. His parents aren't together and his father is a deadbeat. His dad doesn't live with his mom but he Usually pays her rent but this time around was nowhere to be found. I asked a question a couple of days ago about mother in law problems but that was because of her butting in our business when my husband and I argued. I'm not mad but I'm not happy either because my husband is in the navy and we have 1 child together and still haven't enjoyed MARRIAGE together! I don't think it's fair to him because she works and now that only 3 ppl lives in that house hold instead of 5 can't she rent a 2 bedroom? But of course I'm not gonna ask because all she would want is to argue smh...

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:12 AM on Jul. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • It's GOOD that your husband wants to help his Mom. BUT with other people living in the house, they should be forking out some $ too. Unless of course they are all minors.

    Answer by plclemo at 7:16 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Your DH did this without consulting you? I would be mad that you didn't talk it over first, but that may not be how you do things. I would bring up the option of her moving to a cheaper home. If you guys are going to be paying her rent every once in a while, I wouldn't want her living in a nice big house! That's not exactly fair. Or perhaps, she could rent out the extra rooms, so that she could afford her own rent. Just a thought.

    Answer by MomtoElliett at 7:18 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • i would be a litle annoyed if this is going to happen on a regular basis
    does she make enough to cover the rent? if not she needs to move somewhere else where she can afford it and depending on who else is living there they should be chipping in for rent
    if the house is set up where she could rent out a bedroom or two it wouldn't be a bad idea to rent it for extra income, but personally i wouldn't rent it to someone i didn't know and if they aren't going to have their own bathroom or kitchen it might make things weird

    Answer by paula405 at 7:36 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I'm confused ... how did he use the money he was supposed to buy your house with to pay her rent? Even just a modest down-payment on a house is several thousand dollars and rent isn't that much. Did he use money you were saving towards a downpayment to help his mom?
    The issue at hand isn't what his mom needs to do, and you're so right - you shouldn't be suggesting to her that she move. That's her decision. The issue here is with your own spouse and your own family finances. In a relationship, the two of you should make major financial decisions together. The problem is communication with him and has nothing to do with her.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 9:29 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I would be upset if he used the money without consulting with you first. He should be putting you and your family first, in my opinion. I would ask him if he made arrangements for the money to be paid back and whether he expects to have to do it again in the future. Then I would communicate to him that it is not ok with you when he makes decisions without you regarding your family's finances. You might also ask him to suggest to his mother that she consider a smaller and more affordable place.

    Answer by LindyCam at 9:51 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • He should have talked to you about it and you could have made the decision together. Do not let him make big financial decisions without you.

    Answer by Niki_sd at 2:05 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

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