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got written autism report yesterday in mail, today go to see doctor in person

my daughter turned three on tueday
she has been in birth to three for a year
i have taken to autism dr four times, he made his report
got in mail yesterday, today go in to talk to dr about it
he reported she was moderate ( i was thinking she may be mild)
i am so bummed out, i know she is the same little girl as yesterday
but i am depressed
she has a field trip to go to nature perserve today
her daycare goes on trips in the summer, and i kills me to pick her up, she can not say one word about a big field trip day, all the other mothers have their kids tell them what thye did, i pick her up and wait for a teacher to be unbusy enough, so they can tell me how her day was
today, her father said he would take off afternoon to go to this appt, he doesn't want her labeled, i want her to get all the help avail, which means having "the label" so she can get more therapy. maybe he will forget about appt, that would be like him


Asked by fiatpax at 9:50 AM on Jul. 22, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 46 (221,572 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • ...and the day she can tell you about a field trip, will be the sweetest day ever ! they said my son may never speak....6 months after his 6th birthday he said the word can not imagine a sweeter day, lol ! now he has a vocabulary in excess of 200 words....can he tell me about a field trip? no....but I know when he's enjoyed it.....and I know what he wants to eat for snacks because he can tell me....and I know he loves me because I get to see it in his eyes every day....has he said it ? no....but i believe he will someday....i believe it with all my heart !

    and yes, the label gets help !


    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 10:07 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Awww I know how you feel......I have three son who is 8 still cannot tell me about a field trip, or anything else for that used to break my heart, sometimes it still does, but honestly, there is so much more I have gotten to experience that other moms never I learned to appreciate EVERY little thing in a much bigger way than you can imagine....even the smallest of things like seeing my son build an inukshuk and then take my hand to bring me to it so I can see what he's done....and see that smile in his face.....orrrr, this is a really raw one, I'm not sure you'll understand, but yesterday, at the hospital, my son was screaming and became highly agressive....I restrained him to prevent him from hurting himself any further....when he calmed down he was able to say "finish" and when I released him, he hugged me and sobbed...and to me that was almost like an apology, but also he was showing..

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 9:58 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • ...that he was allowing me to console him and give him comfort.....and he completely accepted that....and that to me was incredible !

    I was asked one time what it was like to be the mom of children with severe autism. I said "I wouldn't have it any other way...they are my world. "

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 9:59 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • how old is your son?
    my daughter is three
    what is her life going to be like?
    i also know it is past time that i leave her father
    he has two other children
    so i will be taking her out of her family, away from her dad and sisiter and brother
    but i can not be here anymore
    i have lost myself in "HIS" selfish interests
    and i have to be strong for her

    i feel so lost

    Comment by fiatpax (original poster) at 10:05 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I too, left my husband....and it was a nasty court battle....he never went to any appointments and always said "nobody is going to tell me how to raise my children....that statement alone helped the court to make a ruling that his visitation had to be supervised...and because again he won't allow someone to tell him how to raise his children, he won't take visitation if it has to be supervised.....but I can tell you too, that I found a wonderful man who knew nothing about children and nothing about autism, but he came into our family and listened to me, went to appointments, did his own research and has been a father in every way to my children.....

    I felt lost too....when i first got the diagnosis...and i felt lost for some time afterward too..... I have a published story on the net....take a look at Pake's story at

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 10:11 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • you asked what her life is going to be like ?

    well, she can absolutely have the experiences any other child has....she just may not experience them in the same way....having said that, my son has such severe anxiety that we no longer take him shopping and into many public places....which does make life a bit of a struggle at times....but we've just come to accept that and work with it....he's still enjoying his childhood.....

    my girls on the other hand have made immense progress....they both can read and print, but not at the levels of their peers....they both have friends and go to birthday oldest girl has experienced some bullying in the past, but I have learned so many methods in dealing with this that it hasn't really affected her life....she continues on happily....and some people say they've never seen such happy children as mine...they're carefree...much more so than children who worry about what

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 10:17 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • they look like, or being cool all the time.....

    My youngest girl struggled with transitions and expressing herself....picking her up from therapy, school or daycare was the most difficult part of the day because she was transitioning between caregivers, activities, environments, etc....we worked on it for well over two years...and now when I pick her up, she runs to me with her arms open, eyes bright and giggling ! now i love picking her up....the feeling never gets old and i take nothing for granted !

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 10:20 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Her life will not be text book normal. I know myself how hard it is to look at your child and mourn for the person you wanted them to be. My son too is living with moderate autism.Everyday is a new adventure,mostly good,some bad. I won't lie to you,its going to be hard for both of you. I read up on everything I could get my hands on about autism. The biggest lesson I learned was to see the world thru their eyes.You won't get so frustrated when you can imagine how scary and strange the world is to them.My son now at 9 is finally playing imaginative games and sharing his school life with me.Its the most wonderful gift I've ever recieved! It'll come with her,the sharing.I know how hard it is to see other kids doing what she should be doing for her age.In her own time,those things will come.Let yourself cry,get angry,curse the powers that be!!! The label is needed for schooling,I'm sorry.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:38 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • i am on book number seven (i think) sometimes i do not read an autism book-sometimes i take a break from it all, but this only lasts a day or two
    i have asked her father to read any of the books i have - especially asked him to read the ten things your child wishes-because it is an easy read and does show you through the childs eyes, he said he would read, but has never even touched the book, instead he spends his extra time with his motorcycle or pleasuring himself with his own interests

    he said he was takingoff work this pm to go with me to appt, half of me thinks he will forget all about it, how can a father forget about such importnat things, half of me wishes that he does forget, he has not asked about all the other appts, i tell him in am when we have autism appt, but when he comes home he never asked about my day, her day or any of her dr appts or therapies

    Comment by fiatpax (original poster) at 10:46 AM on Jul. 22, 2010