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2 Bumps

Have 2 boys just need some to help me under stand all this !

They both fight like crazy , one son he always jumping on his little brother and little sister and some time he hurt them and leave small bures on there skin and i try to put him in time out and take stuff a way but it not working ... oh my oldest he has a dirty mouth he call people name and he call me names you should never call a girl or woman . oh a other thing when they play games they get mad and sometime cry !! my kids are 12, 9 , 4 ... just need no any one going throug the same thing as me .... I love my 3 kids so much just wish they could get along and my oldest to be nicer and not use potty mouth ...

mom , Michelle

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on Jul. 22, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (8)
  • I have 2 boys 11 and 12 they are either the best of friends or the worst of enemies. I hear alot of words like gay, fat, and stupid, basic name calling stuff. Dad and I are both on them but it does seem that other parents are hearing the same kind of talk. I think they're trying out words to see how they fit in conversations and will grow out of it once they get a bit older (14-15)
    We really curb the fighting because our youngest one is much bigger than the older. We have had some sibling type injuries but nothing that has taken either to the hospital so I guess we're good??

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 10:23 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Kids will do exactly what they are allowed to do. They will push your buttons and test those boundaries every chance they get. They're kids--it is their job! The only way you can stop it is to not tolerate it--at all! Let them all know what kind of behavior will be tolerated and what will not! Be sure you have firm consequences in place and use them! I would venture to guess that the reason your punishments don't work is because you are either not consistent with them or you don't always enforce them. You can't be wishy washy. Kids smell fear! And they pounce on it like a chicken on a junebug!! Don't let them see you sweat!

    Set your boundaries lower than your 'lost it' level. If you get so worked up that you can't function, they win! Give them room to bump the borders, but stay firm in your role as the mom!

    They'll get the message if you stand firm!

    Good luck!

    Answer by SimplyLaine at 10:25 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • No offense, but it sounds like you need to take control over your eldest... I'd be damned if one of my children ever cursed at me. I think 12 is old enough for some serious consequences. If time out, and taking priveledges away doesn't work, then maybe you should go stronger... Sitting on his bed for time-out and no toys. Make them sit in timeout together and hold hands... Let them know, that as a family that is not going to be tolerated. Family loves one another. Good luck Momma!!! I wish you the best of luck.

    Answer by momma_marian at 10:26 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Thank You all very much ....

    Mom Michelle

    Answer by Countrygirl30fl at 10:36 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Just last week I had to out stubborn my 15 year old son. He called me some very nasty things. I ended up taking away every privilege I could think of. I left him in his room with just his bed with linens, a few changes of clean clothes and 5 books. Nothing else. He could come out to eat but that was it. I let him know that I was the parent and he was the kid - This is MY HOUSE I made the rules and he followed them. If he didn't like it, we would make arrangements for him to live elsewhere. He didn't like that very much. I was worried at first, but he backed down - common sense won - thank God. I too think they have to push their limits - but you have to set boundaries and stick to them. Good Luck. I hope everything works out for you.

    Answer by mpeada at 10:49 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Where did he learn to call women those names? If your SO says it to you obviously he thinks it's okay.... My kids have hit each other before but I must say it happens few and far between because they know what the consequences are! And no I don't hit them! I'm against spanking. Sounds to me like there is no repsect whatsoever, you need to get control before they get any older or it's going to get worse.

    Answer by CokietheClown at 1:45 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Doesn't it feel like toddlerhood all over again? I have a 10 year old and a 2 year old and I"m not sure who is more stubborn!!! I agree - you have to be consistent and firm. My 10 y/o loves his video games and that is the "ultimate" punishment. Find their "ultimate" punishment and use it!!

    Answer by mama2000_1 at 12:56 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • My childeren are all young adults now 18girl ,18,boy and 20 boy ,they weren't always nice to one another, but we all made it through, the boys would protect their sister one min,and hurt her the next, in my mind this is all normal,my brothers did the same thing, just step in when you feel things are out of control tell them to go to their own conners till they cool off. now my kids help each other out more and more

    Answer by tlc99 at 4:46 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

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