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2 Bumps

I think I cheated on my DH....

I had a miscarriage a few weeks ago and have been VERY emotional and upset, to the point that one night I felt suicidal. My DH and I were also fighting A LOT, we were like enemies at eachothers throats and he was on the virge of leaving. I don't have any friends (other then you Cafemom ladies) and my family isn't the most supportive, so I had nobody to talk to and I was falling apart. On Monday afternoon, my ex husband called me. Out of respect for my DH, my ex and I are not friends, just friendly for my daughters sake, but we only talk about her. Well, he called and I poured my heart out about everything I've been going through and he listened and comforted me. It felt good to have someone willing to do that. Well, My DH and I are on a 100% honesty rule and I debated whether to tell him this or not, I knew he'd flip a lid. Well, I told him last night and he said I emotionally cheated on him and that he needed some time away.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Jul. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • That wasn't cheating in any way,that was just an emotional dump on an ex
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:45 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Sounds to me like you only talked to your ex once about this? That doesn't sound like cheating. I think your DH is using it as an excuse to take a break. Emotionally cheating isn't a single phone conversation.
    MomtoElliett

    Answer by MomtoElliett at 10:46 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • that's got to be the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life. You didn't cheat on him because you talked to someone else. It sounds like your SO is a wee bit on the controlling side.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 10:46 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • no, pouring your heart out and getting comfort from someone is not emotional cheating.
    everyone needs someone to talk to.
    Now, if you called up the ex every day and did this, that would might be emotional cheating.
    DarkFaery131

    Answer by DarkFaery131 at 10:46 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • So, you can't talk about feelings with someone else? This seems like insecure, controlling behavior.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 10:46 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • That was in no way cheating hun, you needed to vent and he was available, don't let him guilt you into thinking otherwise.
    older

    Answer by older at 10:48 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Okay you talked to someone about your issues,, this is not cheating! I don't think you need to mention it to your husband,, I think if you had dirty talk with your ex that would be one thing, but you let out pain to someone,, I can't really tell why your husband and you are at each others throats, but maybe some counseling is in order? If your husband is controlling, that is a WAY bigger issue, and if your having problems, I would not try and get PG again until you can get it worked out, hugs to you momma,and you might want to get in a play group or something so you can have female friends again,,,it worries me that you say you have no friends, is this because your current husband doesn't want you to? Feel free to message me, good luck!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:49 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I would tell him.. I did the same thing.. My ex and I are only civil for our kids because my new guy isn't comfortable with us being "close". I respect him for that. We also have a 100% honesty policy & Im the type of girl that if I do something I don't feel is right, I have to tell him anyway or I freak out. Well anyway, I talked to my ex about some problems me and my SO were having, but I told my So about it.. He was pretty upset, but he said he would have been more upset if I didn't tell him.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 10:49 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I agree. I don't seethat as cheating that was just an outpouring of grieve and a cry for support. Your husband should of been the one to offer you that comfort, but since he was being selfish you had no one to turn to. He needs to get over himself and look at your needs.
    MamaNata

    Answer by MamaNata at 10:50 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • well if i was him it may have hurt my feelings, and i might be hurt you would go to your ex.... but it was not "cheating" just give him a break if he needs one... maybe you do too
    joycegina

    Answer by joycegina at 10:51 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

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