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If you have two kids doing two different, but important, events at the same time, in different places.. how do you chose which one to go to?

My parents had FIVE KIDS! And this kind of thing came up a lot. At least they were pretty smart about it and always tried to get us involved in the same stuff (ie. my sister and I both played soccer, so we were on the same teams for years and they could kill two birds with one stone - same thing with my brothers, they both wrestled, played basketball, etc.) But I always felt like I was "neglected" because my parents wouldn't make it to my different events because they were at something for my siblings (my mom didn't drive so they would have to go together). I would hate to make my child feel this way, but how do you chose and keep from hurt feelings??

 
FatGirl239

Asked by FatGirl239 at 11:37 AM on Jul. 22, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (13)
  • I've had to deal with this a lot since the death of my husband. Both of my kids participate in a lot of activities. They understand that they have to "take turns" having me attend, and even must understand if I must miss an event for work. They know that the world doesn't revolve around them and really, they don't get upset by it at all - they know that much worse things can - and have - happened.
    justnancyb

    Answer by justnancyb at 11:46 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • In the case of a 2 parents household, 1 parent goes to one event and the other parent goes to the other. Switch off child and parent so it isn't the same parent always watching the same child's event. Works for my friend. They have 2 boys that both play baseball, often at the same time at different places.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:40 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I only have one child, so this is not an issue for us. If we had more than one child though, we would have ot figure it out, even if it meant mom going to one thing and dad going to the other...
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 11:39 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • My parents used to split things like this. For example whe "back to school night" fell on the same night my dad would go to one school and my mom would go to the other. Same with sports games, or they would stay for half and switch, luckily that didn't happen too often since I played softball and my brother played soccer.
    twinmama2009

    Answer by twinmama2009 at 11:42 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I agree with tyfry7496
    Jemia

    Answer by Jemia at 11:43 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • You don't say if you are married, but if you are can hubby go to one and you go to other? And each one gets taped? Are they one time events? Are they at different times that day and could you possibly drive from one to the other? If they are not one time events, but something like soccer season games vs baseball season games, then alternate between the two. Baseball one week, soccer the next. Don't know if this is any help. Good luck.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 11:44 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I would suggest having one parent go to one event and the other going to the other, both videotape and come together afterwards and watch the videos as a family together. Or if you don't have an available spouse, then enlist a grandparent or friend, and be sure to trade of the next time for the child that didn't have their parent there.
    AshleyBDG

    Answer by AshleyBDG at 11:50 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • The best example I can think of it when I was in high school my brothers were on the wrestling team and I played basketball, we both had state games the same time, I was in town, they were out of town. My parents decided to go out of town to theirs because they would only miss one kid (me) and see two (both of my brothers). That made me feel like crap!

    I am all but married, and I don't know how we'll deal with this when the time comes, hopefully we can figure it out like you've all suggested, one go to one event, the other to the other event, I'm just wondering how everyone else deals with stuff like this.

    And thanks for your answers!
    FatGirl239

    Comment by FatGirl239 (original poster) at 11:52 AM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I have 4 children and there have been occasions where all 4 had things going on at the same time. For transportation, we phone a friend. We can usually find someone to help with transportation. We had one occasion where we had a baseball game, police course demonstration, band concert, and art show. Hubby did the baseball game. A friend recorded the band concert and it was a repeat that we'd already heard during the parents concert. The art show, daughter didn't care about us coming because her art work would be coming home the next week. So I went to the police course demo that other son was participating in.
    Some times you just have to sacrifice, but no child has ever missed one of their functions.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 12:03 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I have 3 children, and I think we have only had this happen about 3 times. What I did was I called the grandparents, my sis and hubs and found out what their schedules were and then asked if they would/could help out and attend XXX event. For 2 of the events it worked out, for the other we explained the situation to the kids and picked what even would be attended. The one who did not have anyone attend was ok with it and we did something special with him later to make up for it.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 12:11 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

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