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5 Bumps

How can I not be self conscious aroud my boyfriend when I'm naked? Kinda hard for me not to be since I have low self esteem and I'm always comparing myself to others, what can I do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Jul. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I have the same problem. Ask your man what his favorite part of your body is. Then play up that. If he loves your butt, then buy sexy underwear that show off your butt. It he loves your legs, buy sky high heels. If he loves your breasts, buy sexy bras. Then when you do get naked, only take off that article of clothing so he mainly focuses on that body part.
    stressedmomma13

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 12:44 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • First you need to realize that no one is perfect. Even that beautifully made up lady at the store or the teenagers that seem perfect. If you strip them down, you will realize that they will have 1 thing that is not perfect. I am sure that you are far more critical about your body than your bf. I'm sure that the only thing going thru his head when you are naked is..."wow, she's naked...I get to see tits/ass...and I can do with it what I want" He's not looking at the extra weight, or the sagginess, or anything else you think is wrong with your body.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 12:44 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I feel the same way, so i always just leave my shirt on. After have 2 kids and losing 60 pounds, I have stretch marks and saggy skin that did not make me feel sexy at all. One night he insisted that I take my shirt off, and he kissed my saggy skin on my stomach and told me he didn't care and loved me no matter what. So I think what jademom said is right, if the guy loves you, he's not focusing on your faults.
    mommymela87

    Answer by mommymela87 at 12:49 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I've always felt that way too since I was a teenager. I've always felt I had a horrible body and covered up. I'm 5'2 and I was 105 lbs in high school but would compare myself to supermodels and feel totally inferior. I'm 54 and I still feel embarrassed over my body and cover myself. It's all in your head. When your man loves you, he sees JUST YOU and doesn't think about the shape of your thighs or butt. That is why he forgets to compliment you or even imagine your body is imperfect. He loves all of you. Even though I know this, I still feel bad about my body. I don't tell him how I feel. He just thinks it is because I'm modest. I don't want him to know that I have this insecurity. But I do know he loves me and is aroused by me. That's all that really matters.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 12:56 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Obviously he likes your naked body just try to look at yourself through his eyes!
    yezay

    Answer by yezay at 1:22 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I feel the same way, I cope is that I replay over and over him telling me how beautiful I am, how much he loves me and so on. He knows I have low self esteem so he tells me all the time I am beautiful and that he loves my body. I also remember hearing quite a few guys talk about how they are not as hard on us about our bodies as we are.
    kc932

    Answer by kc932 at 2:14 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Concentrate on his body. Will take awhile but with practice you will find yourself thinking more about his needs and wants and how you can satisfy them. In the meantime I'm willing to bet you will relax more and find you are enjoying the experience.
    KISS1224

    Answer by KISS1224 at 3:35 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • i have the same problem and if i mention it he tells me he fell in love with me everything and to stop it which aactually hlps for a while before i go back infront of the mirror
    jennette0704

    Answer by jennette0704 at 4:23 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • You are what you think... think beautiful thoughts and it will shine threw. Compliment yourself each day and believe it.
    "I love my eyes!" while you are putting on make-up. Or "I have nice lips". "I like the way my butt looks in these jeans".

    Men don't care what size we are and are NOT looking at your belly when your boobs and hoo-hoo... are right there in plain sight.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 7:46 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I'm a little critical of my body. I've been breastfeeding almost four years so the "girls" aren't what they used to be. I absolutely HATE them and want a boob job (yes, I hate them that much). My husband, however, loves them. He tells me all the time how much he likes them. The other ladies are right. Most men are less critical of our bodies than we are. They're usually happy that they're getting the goods so they're far less focused on the flaws.
    Confidence is sexy. Fake it if you have to.
    dmdblleb

    Answer by dmdblleb at 8:45 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

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