Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

How long should you date before getting married? How long did you?

I know there is no magic number. And every couple is different so I guess the question is more about how long you were together and how that is working for you. Did you feel you knew your husband better before you got married or after? Did your husband change after you got married? Do you wish you had waited longer or gotten married faster? Do you have a past relationship that ended badly which you feel might have been better had you waited longer to get married? A relationship that ended because you weren't ready to get married and he was? Would you marry him now if he still wanted you to?

Answer Question

Asked by craftin4fun at 1:31 PM on Jul. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (49 Credits)
Answers (27)
  • My husband and I got married almost exactly two years after we started dating. But we moved in together two months after we started dating, so I think I knew him pretty well before getting married. No, he didn't change after we got married. He has always been the same person. I am glad we got married when we did. Everyone tried to pressure us into getting married sooner, because we ended up having our twins 8 months before we got married, but I did not want to change our wedding date just because we already had our kids.

    Answer by fallnangel93 at 1:35 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I don't see any reason to put a number on it. If you have dated for 2 months and know this is the one - go for it... But if you've been dating for 10 years and still aren't 100% sure, wait... It's all up to you and him.

    We would have never gotten married - I'm not a fan of it - but we were dating/living together for just over 2 years when we got married, and had a baby.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:35 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • My husband and I dated for 6 months before I moved in with him. We got engaged two months after I moved in. We got married two months after he proposed. So overall it took 10 months from the time we started dating to get married. I guess it all depends on the person and how you feel with them. It's just something you KNOW. So many people are different and have different experiences. I dated a guy for over 3 years and we never got engaged or married. I just knew he wasn't the "one", but I know my husband's the one.

    Answer by poptart0325 at 1:36 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • My exhusband we dated for almost 3 years before we got married it lastet 6 years he cheatet the last 2 years of that ,I thought I knew him guess not. My now husband we dated for a total of 4 months lol I learned out of my previouse marriage that there is no reason to wait forever we love each other and thats all we needed.My exhusband changed like day and night when we got married my now husband not at all its like we didnt even do it which is amazing perfect actually

    Answer by peanuts2804 at 1:38 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Obviously every couple is different, but I think the average normal relationship need at least a year to really experience enough time together to have an idea of how the future will be. Life can get hard and people often act differently under stressed circumstances. If you haven't at least had a taste of every season with your partner, you might be jumping the gun. Of course that's just my opinion for the typical couple. Some people get married after 2 weeks and have happy lives together. Some people get married after 5 years and can't stay married. There is always a variable with everyone.

    I personally dated my hubby for about 3 years. We got prego right around our one year anniversary. Our son was 14 months old when we got married.

    Answer by mickstinator at 1:40 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • we were in a relationship for 4 years, living together for 3 years before we got married.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:40 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • 1st ex: dated for 3 years, married for 18 months- I really just wanted to be married, he wasn't done being a tweenager
    2nd ex: dated for 4 years, married almost 4 years now divorced-didn't have anything in common after DD was born, he still wanted to party, LOADS!

    I don't think the time before marriage really has much to do with it.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:40 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • All i can say is that I'm glad we waited 4 years. Even after being together for a few years, i still learned new stuff about him. Some good...some bad. You have to get to know the bad side of your partner too & decide weather you love this person enough to put up with it (we all have bad sides that need putting up with). In the begining of relationships, it's always fun & exciting & you both try really hard to impress each other. Well, that doesn't last for long. Pretty soon, their darker shades start to show & sometimes we realize too late that we can't deal with those darker shades. It's better to have EVERYTHING out on the table, good & bad, before making the decision to get married, or at least I am convinced of that. And it can take a long time to get all those skelatons out & onto that table. You dont want to find out too late that your partner has serious issues that you don't want to deal with.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:46 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • My husband and I dated for 6 months, were in a relationship for 2 years, engaged for 1 year, and have now been marired for 2 years. He is one of the best things that has happened to me and I would not change a thing. We were completely honest from the beginning so neither of us has changed and we have only grown closer together. He is the best man for me.

    Answer by MsHouseWife at 1:47 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • DH and I dated for one year before we got pregnant with our first. We lived together for a year then decided to have another baby. We got married 5 months after our second son was born. So we were together for four years before we got married. (It wasn't all a bed of roses either.) We will be married 3 years this December.

    Answer by liz.1986 at 1:53 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.