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Getting my 3yr old girl to share

She's our only child and when she plays w/cousins she doesn't like to share or play w/other kids most of the time. Any ways to get her to share? She's not in school yet...till next yr.


Asked by ilovemel at 3:09 PM on Jul. 22, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (10)
  • I would just keep reminding her and keep encouraging her to share. When she gets upset just be there to comfort her...she will learn to share but she is still very young. She is entitled to be upset too but if you are there to cuddle her she will soon get over it.

    With kids you have to keep repeating things but eventually she may be ok with it. Are the cousins older? My son is really awesome around older children and plays well with his cousins who are 6 and 11. I took him to a play group once and he was sharing things but then stood still for a while and observed everyone. When he noticed everyone else were being right brats he copied them!! So I never took him it just made him act horribly. He plays with his older cousins and that works really well. He is 2 and half.

    Answer by keyaziz at 3:17 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Just keep reminding her every time you see her not sharing. Play games with her and show her how to share, how you share with her.

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 3:13 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • tell her she needs to share and if she doe not want to share out her in time out this worked me

    Answer by regian19832002 at 3:13 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I don't spank my daughter for not sharing...and thankfully she doesn't throw a fit like other children. She just gets upset. She's only 3!!! I'm not spanking her for not sharing when she's the only child!

    Comment by ilovemel (original poster) at 3:14 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Thanks Keyaziz.....there's certain kids she gets along with. Her uncles who are in there teens she LOVEs. But her girl cousins is different. I think it's b/c in the past her girl cousins have pushed her away...wouldn't play w/her. I agree though she is still young that's why i think spanking is absurd. Thanks for your input! =)

    Comment by ilovemel (original poster) at 3:21 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • We also remind our 3 yr old to share and if she doesn't then no-one will get to play the toy. If she snatches a toy or throws a tantrum, i remove her from the situation for a time out. When her time out is over, ask her if she is ready to try again. It can be hard to listen to them throw the tantrum but you have to be firm and conisitent. Good luck!!

    Answer by Lily23 at 3:21 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Sharing should be a benevolent act, done from the kindness of the heart. Forcing children to share with threats of punishment is not the way to encourage benevolence. Punishment usually doesn't stop bad behavior and never teaches good behavior. Time-outs are a form of punishment that can lead to having kids that lie, sneak, "don't listen", "back talk", and resent adults.

    How you teach sharing is by modeling. You can show her what to do. At 3 she is a little young to expect to share. When the cousins come over you can put away her favorite things so she doesn't have to share those things. Talk to her about the children coming over and that they will be playing with the toys too. It can help if you treat toys as being things to play with rather than things a specific child "owns".


    Answer by Gailll at 3:22 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Children have to learn how to share. We parents have to explain what sharing is. When you are with others you should be close by and talk about sharing and guide the use of the toys. Those children who know what sharing is can be encouraged to do so. Do role playing at home with you and dad. Make a learning experience of it. It might take some time but she'll get it. Read up on the typical age that children are when they get the hang of it. Google it/read about it. Good luck

    Answer by elizabr at 3:26 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • My little ones are twins, so they have had to share from day one, even before they were born. They still don't always like to do it. Sharing is a skill that takes practice. If your daughter's friends or cousins are rowdy or tend to be careless with her favorite toys it is easy to understand why she wouldn't want to share them. I had an only child for a long time too, and I found that it helped if we put away her very favorite toys before friends came over when she was small. We also talked about sharing before we had a visit, and I made sure to praise her when I saw her sharing. It takes practice to learn to share, and your daughter is young still. She'll get better as she gets older and as she has more opportunities to practice.

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 3:26 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I would just be observant when she plays with other children. If she is the one who takes toys from the others, I would make her give them back. She will likely not take that too well, so be prepared for her to throw a fit. If she does that, I would take her aside and give her one warning. If she persisted, I would spank her. Not sharing is an act of selfishness, and she has to be taught that is unacceptable behavior or she will not give it up.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:12 PM on Jul. 22, 2010