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I didn't know this mindset still existed but....My uncle's SO's 13 yr old daughter got raped by a 19 yr old acquaintance last week. my aunt's response was that it was the child's fault because she wears low cut tops and tight jeans. I was dumbfounded that she first as a woman,and second as a rape survivor herself,would have this attitude! Does this attitude against rape victims still exist out there,or is my aunt a dying breed?


Asked by butterflyblue19 at 5:52 PM on Jul. 22, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (26)
  • It does sound bad from your aunt, as a survivor of rape myself I can tell you it may something to do with what she went through herself. Maybe she feels like what happened to her happened for those reasons, maybe she blames herself. I understand where she's coming from because I feel that way, I cover up because when I was getting raped by family members I remember the interest in my breast and my legs, those two things now that I am older I don't like to show. I rarely wear skirts, I cover up my may be a mental thing. Though I don't condone her statements, I think they are very insensitive, no woman in her right mind or child for that matter "asks" to be raped by the things she says or the clothes she wears, it's not her fault.


    Answer by Anonymous at 6:17 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I hope she's a dying breed,,, so sad.

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:53 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • that's so ignorant. i hope she she is a dying breed. sounds like she is struggling with her own guilt from her own situation, and really she needs to shut the hell up. no one deserves to be raped, even a damn prostitute.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 5:58 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I hope your aunt is a dying breed. What a disgusting woman.

    Answer by momjoy1027 at 5:53 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • It still exist.... When I was raped I was told I had it coming pretty much. The rape counselor told me I shouldn't have broken up with my ex at the time he need me most. He's mom was put in jail and he had the place to himself so he wanted to have sex so he told me have sex or we're broken up. So I broke up with him and left. Twp days later he was at a friends house and raped me in their bathroom.

    My 4 yr old was raped mt a 19 yr old. Police didn't believe 4 yr old because drug headed mother said it didn't happen even though there was scarring in her "special" area. Mom just said it came from when she fell off her bike, she didn't even own a bike....

    Raped is so over looked now a days and it's not even considered a serious crime till they rape dozen others

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 6:00 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I was raped when I was 13 by my 38 year old uncle and I got the same bs. That I wore skimpy clothes and some even questioned it, some of my aunt's would say, "are you sure, you were raped cause if that was me I would fight and kick and scream and not let him do it to me," thats so ignorant, I fought of course but the more I fought the more he fought me I don't know how I got out of there I'm glad it didnt get violent to the point where he killed me, but yes its absolutely ridiculous the things people come up with. I heard it all even at trial. I was made out to be a slut, because I was 13 and wore make up and my body started maturing. I obviosult didn't wear stuff liek that but even if I did NO ONE deserves to be raped. after that I made sure to cover up and it took me along time to feel comfortable. I had very low self esteem and didn't feel comfortable in my own skin, now 11 years later I'm married and have kids! :)

    Answer by babyangelromero at 6:07 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • My teacher was telling our class about a friend of hers getting raped.. and said it was the friends fault because she was out walking the streets at 10pm. No joke. I was so upset, I had liked the teacher, but I lost all respect for her. She was only like 28. They aren't a dying breed unfortunately.

    Answer by MomtoElliett at 5:56 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • You know a girl can be naked and if she says NO, than it's No and if she's raped the guy should rot in jail.

    Answer by sweetmom1007 at 5:56 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Yes, those views are still around.
    Women should be able to walk down a dark street at midnight or dress provocatively and have no consequences. Unfortunately, this often isn't the case. This is why women should be cautious about the situations in which they place themselves.
    But that doesn't make it their fault. That just means not to make yourself an easy target. The fault lies firmly with the attacker.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 6:03 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Unfortunately it does. Many people are raised with that thinking and it's hard to change - NOT AN EXCUSE, just observation.

    You know, there was a case in Italy a few years back where a rapist was being charged with 3 - not 1 but 3 - rapes of young girls... All three girls had been wearing jeans on the day of the attack - because of this the judge threw out the case believing that it's "impossible to force jeans off without help from the wearer" so they must have at least helped him undress them...

    Point being, people don't want to believe that rape happens, so they look for reasons to blame the victim rather than the criminal... As a rape survivor, I find it disgusting! But once again, it boils down to under education and bigotry...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 6:08 PM on Jul. 22, 2010