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Was I wrong in telling my best friend to please phone me from now on, because her hubby is rude and curt with me?

Each time I phone my best friend, her hubby recognizes the caller I.D., picks up the phone and says she's sleeping, walking the dogs, etc. etc. Then he quickly hangs up the phone. I feel as if he dislikes me, and doesn't want anyone calling.

I spoke to her about it, and she said "He's just that way, I won't say anything to him."
I told her that if my hubby treated my friends that way, I would be furious. Still, I didn't ask her to say anything to him, just to phone me instead. Since then, I haven't heard from her. We usually talk everyday and have been friends for years(or so I thought.)

What do you all think?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:35 AM on Oct. 2, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • It sounds to me like either an abusive controlling relationship, or else she doesn't want to talk on the phone but isn't willing to say so and is leaving it up to him to make up some excuse for her. I'm leaning more towards an abusive relationship though. I'm sorry.

    Answer by JenEliBella at 8:30 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • can you call when he isn't home?

    Answer by Lyndall at 8:32 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • Her hubby just may be that way.....

    I've got a friend that I talk to several times a week....and that's how her hubby is.....

    Hi, (insert my name), (insert friends name) is (insert activity). She'll call you back later. bye. And the phone hangs up.....Do I like it, no but it's just the way he is...

    He knows that I didn't call to talk to him or any of his children, I called to talk to his wife and at times she is just busy and can't come to the phone. Yes, it's a little rude, but that's the way can be especially with the technology that we have....caller ID....We know who it is before we pick up so we just say things without going through the polite thing of "Hi and asking who is on the line".

    Personally...I've done it to people. I see the caller ID so I know who is calling and I've picked up and said "Hi (insert name), I'm busy right now can I call you back when I'm done?" I wait for the yes and then hang up.

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 8:38 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • Oh and my friends hubby is NOT abusive....he just doesn't like talking on the phone and knows that when I call I'm calling for his wife, so he just picks up and goes straight to the point: she can't talk right now.

    Sure the first few times I was put off by it, but now I've just accept it as that's just the way he is.... Like I said with the age of caller ID some people just loose the politeness and phone etiquette that once was taught.

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 8:43 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • i think that's the easiest solution. maybe he's keeping a close watch on her,so she can't get to the phone yet. give her a few more days then call her,make sure she's ok. he sounds alittle off to me. i would be worried he might hurt her.

    Answer by pam228 at 8:53 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • I have a situation similar to that. It got to where if I called her and he was in the house, she wasn't able to talk with me. I just stopped calling. I seldom hear from her any more, but when she does call me, I talk with her as if nothing has happened. I think sometimes men are jealous of the relationships their wives have even with their girlfriends. Until the wife decides to deal with the situation, whatever it is, you will just be frustrated, so I would just let it go.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:07 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • I was in EXACTLY your spot. My friends bf was like that, but worse. Whenever me or any of her other friends came to the house, he would go straight upstairs. And the one time our other friend said hi to him when he came down, he shot her a dirty look. Come to find out, he was pissed because we didn't call an hour in advance to ask if it was ok to come by. WTF?? And then, my friend started just having me over after he left for work. So I went over one night and we were sitting on the porch and her phone rings, it's him, and the first thing out of his mouth is, "Who the fuck is in my parking space?"

    Answer by WadeMom313 at 9:08 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • CONT. Evidentially they didn't need him that night, so he got to come home. She tells him it's me and he refused to come home until I was gone. He drove by after a half hour and then called again and asked, "why isn't she gone yet?" WHAT AN ASS!! And they are still together. There are lots more stories too. We're no longer friends though, for a totally different reason, but I understand exactly where you are, so if you want to pm me, I'd be happy to talk with you about it.

    (Why do they have to limit these things to 1000 characters?? Kinda annoying when your story is a little longer!! LOL)

    Answer by WadeMom313 at 9:08 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • I am going through this saem situation now except I stopped hanging out with my friend. I was tired of her husband being a jerlk and she didnt say anything to stop it or to try to defend me. Her husband is a jerk and I told her that I think he beats her when no one is around. She would always just sit back and let him be rude to me and she wouldnt say anything. He even got mad at me for her moving my car instead of me in their drive way!! he is such an idiot!

    Answer by aiden1337 at 9:26 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • I have been in a situation like this at least twice neither situation was good and abuse doesn't just mean physical abuse for a man to act that way is abusive and controlling. It's mental abuse. If you're not ignoring your husband to be with your friends it's not normal behavior. In one situation I lost a long time friendship we had both been in the hospital for each other when our sons were born I still mourn the loss of that friendship she married this obnoxious jerk first it started when I would call and he had to talk in the background the whole time. Anyway no sense reopening that wound. I sincerely hope there are not a lot of children involved in this.

    Answer by oldfashioned75 at 9:44 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

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