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On Sunday night my DH and I were watching the football game and the broadcasters interviewed a man that was a kicker for another team who had recently lost his 3 month old son. Apparently, his wife went to check on him in the morning and found that he had passed away in his sleep. Then I tuned into Oprah yesterday and saw the lady who left her baby in her car for 8 hours and her 3 year old daughter died of heast stroke along with many other Mom's who spoke about near fatal disasters. (continued below)

 
madlyinlove412

Asked by madlyinlove412 at 9:01 AM on Oct. 2, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (11)
  • My baby is now 14 mos and I'm still overwhelmed with fear that he's not going to wake up or that something is going to happen to his brother. I always pray, sometimes multiple times a day. For their safety or my stregnth. :D I think it's pretty normal for any mom. Some people are more anxious than others, I fall on the high anxiety end. Yours could be a form of the post pardum "blues". If you continue to feel this way you might want to contact your doctor. I had depression after my first baby. {{{hugs}}}
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 9:11 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • (from above)
    I consider myself to be a pretty level headed person (most of the time) this being said, I am going crazy with these thoughts of fear for my son right now. I feel I am surrounded by this doom and gloom and since I 've heard these stories, I cannot keep myself away from him. When he is napping/ sleeping in his own room, I check on him quite often and I have to feel his little belly/ back move up and down or see him move - when I feel or see this, I feel that it is ok to go on with my housework, etc. until I feel compelled to check on him again. (continued below)
    madlyinlove412

    Answer by madlyinlove412 at 9:02 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • (from above) last one I promise...
    I talked about my feelings / fears with my husband & he said that my son, who is almost 6m old, is healthy and is past the age of fear for SIDS because he can independantly roll and lift his head away from any potential hazards (plus there is nothing in his crib but a tight fitting sheet and a breathable bumper).
    Are these feelings/ fears normal for a 1st time Mom? Obviously, every Mom and Dad has these fears, but how can I get over this as I feel that my fear may be too intense? Does anyone have any positive thoughts/ feelings that will help me calm my mind down because I am really struggling right now. Thank you...
    madlyinlove412

    Answer by madlyinlove412 at 9:02 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • Awe.. I was the same way. I held my daughter so much my mom actually contacted a shrink to see if something was wrong with me. i was so worried something would happen the minute I moved from her side. I had so many sleepless nights!!! I can't give you any advice though I don't know how I came out of it. I just did. You will soon realize you have a healthy child/healthy minded mom and everything will be ok.

    MomToFour247

    Answer by MomToFour247 at 9:08 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • These are completely normal feelings. Especially of a first time Mom. I pretty much did the same thing when my first son was an infant. I was always concerned. It's good that you are concerned and pay attention to you child. But, you husband is right, now that he can roll over and move his head, his risk of SIDS has gone down. And I hate to tell you this, but, there still is a slight risk until he turns one. You sound like you are a very loving Mom and you just want to keep your baby safe. And you're doing good by making sure there's nothing in his crib that he can tangled up in or suffocated by. Just try to relax a little bit though. Your little guy can sense when you are tense or scared.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • That is normal. My son is 7 1/2 months old and I check on him if he sleeps too long. He usually takes one or two twenty minute naps a day. He is not a good sleeper. If he sleeps longer I continue to check on him. He usually wakes at least 3 times a night and if he doesn't I usually wake up and worry and check him. I just try to focus on him and keep him my main priority.
    TeaAndrews

    Answer by TeaAndrews at 9:16 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • Don't take their stories and turn it into fear, turn it into awareness. That's what the show on Oprah was for, to tell people to slow down, and check themselves when they are getting flustered. Try to find the lessons in the stories and take them to heart but don't let the fear consume you. I know, I know, easier said than done!!! A lot of first time moms are like that though, and one day you'll just be ok. I wasn't that extreme, but everytime I went into her room I had to watch to see if she was breathing. And I still do. I check on her before I go to bed. Just to make sure 1. She's still there!! and 2. That she's ok. Just don't get frantic with it, that's what caused that mom on Oprah to forget her child was in the car, too much stress, and the mom with the bathtub thing.
    WadeMom313

    Answer by WadeMom313 at 9:16 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • Oh yeah, I forgot to say I still do that and my DD is 6!
    WadeMom313

    Answer by WadeMom313 at 9:20 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • Thanks ladies for the much needed boost {{hugs}}
    madlyinlove412

    Answer by madlyinlove412 at 10:53 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • Well Giovanni is 11 months old now.
    I don't follow all of todays "RULES' for raising my son.
    like the ... " Don't do this or Don't do that senerios...because it's could cause SIDS.
    For example ....my son Sleeps on his stomach....and has since he was born. I slept on my stomach when I was a baby, as did , soooooooo many other babies. And we are all ok.
    I still however, get the anxiety though.
    Like yesterday morning......Gio slept later than normal...so I checked on him. Sure enough he was ok.
    It is a natural feeling that will always be there, even when the kids grow up.
    My oldest is 16 yrs old now with a drivers license. I worry everyday when he drives himself back and forth from College to Highschool.
    jjessers

    Answer by jjessers at 12:17 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

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