Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

sd problem

my sd has been complaining about bms boyfriend alot lately including crying when she mentions him. Also she has said bm told her that the boyfriend can see her naked and even though sd has said no to this. Jusr for reference my sd is 6. Also she has been messing her pants alot lately. Sd won't say if anything is going on at bms, but because of her actions my dh thinks there is. Looking for advice.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:54 PM on Jul. 22, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (7)
  • take her to a counselor right away and try to find out if something is going on! sounds like a 6 y.o. messing pants is an indication 'something' is happening, might not be what you fear, but then again it might. a counselor can help sort it out!

    Answer by michellelvs4 at 9:57 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Clearly there is something stressing the child out enough that she doesn't feel safe. Having the boyfriend have permission to see her naked (Why does he need to frankly?) goes against everything anyone has tried to teach her about her right to privacy and her private parts.

    Personally I would call either childrens services (annon if you are worried about it) or her ped (who will call under the mandatory reporter requirements) and run it past them. I would also find someone professional (another mandated reporter) for her to talk to. Do what needs to be done to make her feel safe again. Speak to the attorney and see about modifying custody arrangements. Step up and protect this child now before something does happen if it hasn't already.

    Answer by DoulaMom25 at 10:02 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • take her to a therapist or someone she can talk to.
    document everything and report it to DCF. He should not be seeing her naked.

    Answer by misunderstood1 at 10:11 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • You really should talk to someone about this- maybe her counsler at school or her ped.; She is acting out & trying to get someone to see things are not right- She is putting her Trust in you by complaining about the BF & Crying when she talks about him- I have been with my husband for 17 years and he is the only Dad my daughter knows- She was 7 when we got together & she is now 24; my husband has NEVER seen her naked- There has NEVER been a reason to even talk about it- Please do everything you can to help your SD b/c something is wrong at BM's house- BM doesn't sound like she is Wrapped to Tight! Wishing you lots of luck!

    Answer by daisyb at 10:21 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I agree, get her to a counselor. My DH has seen our daughters naked, but that is when she is bathing. Other than that, there is not reason for him to see her with out clothes on. A 6 year old, potty trained child does not act like this for no reason. If she is being abused, it seems like you are the only who will help her. Her mother is sick is she thinks that this behavior is okay. I would also talk to DH and see if you can get full custody. This mother doesn't deserve her child.

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 11:04 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I would try to get as much info as I could from SD. Make her feel safe and secure in telling you this. I have been through this with my niece. When she was 7 she told me her SF had touched her. I calmly asked her what had happened and what she wanted done about it. She wanted out of the house so I moved forward into talking to a lawyer friend of mine. I then went to My nieces mother and talked to her. She told me Meg had made it up which is when I had to get 'nasty' I was able to get Meg moved into her Grandmothers house within a few days but our relationship with her mother has NEVER been the same. (Not that it was ever great or anything) You do what you need to do. You make sure you have everything you need to know and then you seek assistance on how to go about correcting the problem as quickly and painlessly as possible. I would consider talking to a lawyer first especially if you are seeking custody. IMO

    Answer by But_Mommie at 1:03 PM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • i'd recommend taking her to the ped. to have her checked out and proceed with any legal actions or cps.

    Answer by tayseansmom7505 at 10:47 AM on Jul. 25, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.