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Jealousy issues with DH. Any advice would be great!

I have really bad jealousy issues with my DH. As a result of him trying to cheat on me with a co-worker. (He has a new job, new number, and no passwords now). It has been six months, and I am going crazy! I DO NOT want to feel like this forever! Will it ever get better? (sorry if I spelled anything wrong)

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clovismommy25

Asked by clovismommy25 at 9:54 PM on Jul. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,044 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • It will get better.
    Perhaps couples counseling would help.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 9:55 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I agree with the first post, I'd say you need to try counseling.
    Sue41

    Answer by Sue41 at 9:56 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Since he tried to cheat on you once I would think that you would always feel somewhat insecure. I agree with outstangingLove you might try marriage counseling but once trust is lost it is very difficult to get back
    shortleo

    Answer by shortleo at 9:57 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • We are in counseling, and I am doing the eye movement therepy as well. I am not freaking out about him being at work, like I thought I would, and he has even made male friends at work on gone with them about once a month, maybe more. But I can't seem to just let go!
    clovismommy25

    Comment by clovismommy25 (original poster) at 9:58 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • actually, i dont think it will get better. i would never forgive my SO for that. it would be over.
    ive been cheated on by an ex and forgave him, and it never went away - and eventually the relationship ended.
    plus, once a cheater always cheater.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 9:59 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Keep going to therapy but please be honest with your therapist too. Be honest with your husband but let him know you want to get better. He needs to understand that it WILL take some time for you to overcome his dishonesty but you can make it work
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 10:07 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I agree with couples counseling. It might help. It might take months, even years to forgive, but you will never forget it. Try to see if he's sincere about wanting to be with you and it never happening again. If so, then give him a second chance. Sometimes guys have to stray to figure out what they really want.
    mrsflawless

    Answer by mrsflawless at 10:11 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • It takes time to build trust back up. Read some books if you really want this to work, your going to have to find a way to allow your self to trust and respect this man. The work is on both sides. NOt just yours--he needs to continue to do the right things too.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 10:45 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • hang in there with the counseling. either you will find a way to get through or you will stop questioning whether you should keep trying. make a decision to let go of the past and move on and get something out of the counseling or else make a decision that it's not acceptable and go to counseling yourself to help you get over the relationship. right now you're in between - you cannot make movement when you continually change direction.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:15 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • It may or may not get better, If there is no trust. It's hard. And if he ain't open with you even with passwords, well...there should be nothing to hide from your partner. period! I totally agree with the counseling. Best of luck and hope you find peace for your children and yourself. other than that, this to shall pass. Smile!
    808tiare

    Answer by 808tiare at 10:42 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

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