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I would like to know if there is anyone out there who has a husband who spends all of his time on the computer and not with his family??

My husband spends his day on the computer 10-16 hours a day and I am getting sick and tired of it. Evrytime I ask him to take my son and I out he say, "I can't I have to fix this computer, because it has a vbirus", but let one of his friends call the house and hes out the door and gone for 3-5 hours a time. I love my husband but lately I can't stand being around him and when he wants to make love I don't have any interest in doing it. I hate to say it, but why should I when he doesn't seem that interested in our family lately. Ten years ago while giving birth to our son I had a stroke and became "Legally Blind", so I surrendered my licenses and have been a housewife. I do everything with our son from homework, studying, going to the movies, and going to friends house with him, because my husband wants to stay at home and do computer things. I would appreciate anyone's help in this matter. I really need some help.....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:57 PM on Jul. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Maybe it is time to unplug the computer and hide the power cord. Tell him you will not give it back until y'all can have a heart to heart talk about it.
    itsallabtthem84

    Answer by itsallabtthem84 at 9:59 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I like this approach! "Maybe it is time to unplug the computer and hide the power cord. Tell him you will not give it back until y'all can have a heart to heart talk about it."

    But seriously, I am frank with my husband when I have a problem. I am not one to cower and let it get worse. Take the cord, demand his attention, and tell him how you are feeling. Calmly of course. Give him a chance to honestly address the issue and see what happens.
    Danielle720

    Answer by Danielle720 at 10:03 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • are you still blind? Everytime I hear of someone having a stroke its really bad. Strokes run on my dads side so I'm a bit scared. =[
    MY husband spends a lot of time on the computer,but I told him he is gonna help with dinner,kids and the house,and he gripes about it but he does it.
    MarGeee

    Answer by MarGeee at 10:04 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • My husband has a wireless mouse and once I stuck it in my pocket so he could not use it - what I really wanted to do was through the whole computer out the window. I think we got to face the fact that computers have take up a spot in a mans heart that once was reserved for the TV remotes or cars. So what do use women do? Um not sure
    hadassah1582

    Answer by hadassah1582 at 10:08 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • You need to print out what you just wrote above in question.  Ask him what he thinks of it and then do some serious talking. GL

    musicmom08

    Answer by musicmom08 at 10:09 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Well... only if someone here has more than one computer! When dh was 'avoiding life' with a computer when the kids were little, we only had one, so I wouldn't have been answering this question on this forum when it was happening to me

    It is impossible to hold someone in a loving space while viewing them with contempt. So, while you use the words 'I love him,' you can't do that while you are revolted by him.

    At this point, it's likely that you're stuck on a circle together: he knows you don't want to be near him, you don't want to be near him, so he goes away because it's easier than facing your contempt, so you get madder because he's avoiding you and he's avoiding you because you're mad, around and around and around.

    Someone has to step off. You can complain or you can change your approach: choice is yours. Be the mature person, and look to find the things about him that you admire, what you loved about him.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 10:10 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I have done everything and it doesn't seem to work. I have talked to him calmly and his excuse is I am always in the wrong and I just don't know what to do anymore. I also have told him that I am his second wife and that the way he is treating me is the way his exwife used to treat him and I won;t stand for it. She used to be mean to him and do things to him and I won't take it. Yes, I am still blind and I will be this way for the rest of my life. I don't let my disability get to me I am n control, but lately I feel like I am the maid in the house and no one seems to want to help me. I am not trying and wanting anyone to feel sorry for me, but I just needed someone who has been in my shoes to help me out. I still have some sight left, but I don't know for how much longer and would like for my husband to help me out again like he used to. He used to cook, clean, etc. I just don't know what else to do??
    CARM33993

    Answer by CARM33993 at 10:15 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • My Dh is the same way he spends all the time on the computer when hes not at work or asleep. I have to twist his arm and pretty much beg him to get him to do anything. I'm sorry I really don't have any advice for you I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Good luck and if you need to talk message me.
    countrygirl06

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 10:35 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I know the feeling. But my husband is bad about playing softball all the time and not playing ball with his son. Or he sits in front of the tv or on the computer. He hardly ever whats to just play with his children. I hope ur plan works for u. But I am very forward with my husband, I always tell him what i am thinking and how i feel about him not playing with them. i think it goes through one ear and out the other. for a few days he will be a good boy but then he goes back to being the same as before.
    BrandyBee77

    Answer by BrandyBee77 at 10:36 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

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