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A husband who doesnt ever "want" me... adult content

So, we have been married for only 7 months, and my husband never seems to want me anymore. Im a little overweight right now and have been since we met, and he says im fine and likes it and all, but the almost constant sex rejections dont help my lower self esteem at all. He always says hes too tired for sex, or doesnt feel like it, or some other silly excuse...Any tips on what to do? Im going crazy and only so much I can do for myself lol

Answer Question
 
Kya-AF

Asked by Kya-AF at 10:19 PM on Jul. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (14 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • tell him how you feel and how you would like to have a husband and not a room mate
    Claudiomom

    Answer by Claudiomom at 10:22 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • be a bitch like me and tell him that if he isn't going to take care of you, then you will find someone who will.

    I am betting that will get his attention and then you can really talk about it
    Maureen-MD

    Answer by Maureen-MD at 10:26 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I'd have a talk with him and tell him you don't care what the issue is that you want to know what is going on. If it is broken how can you fix something that you don't know how to fix.
    ezziriah

    Answer by ezziriah at 10:26 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • When women feel like 100% of what their men want out of them is their own sexual satisfaction, and the only reason they ever touch you is to get them some...

    Men are human beings inside those bodies, complete with hearts, and when they feel used, disrespected, like they're only wanted for one thing or pressured into performing, they also have magical headaches, exhaustion, or don't feel like it. In fact, any excuse will do, because they're not getting enough fun for the sell-out involved.

    Take a look around for where he's feeling unappreciated, criticized or dismissed (and if you're inclined to start the case for the defense, stop for a moment and remember that he's avoiding you for, to him, good reasons --wonder what they are, even if they're 'unreasonable' or nowhere near as hard or important as yours) and fix it. Appreciate him, with no agenda. Thank him. Make eye contact, smile and carry on with your day. Love him.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 10:28 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • There are many answers to this:

    1. He's gay
    2. He's cheating
    (those are the obvious explanations)

    3. He's stressed out
    4. He's sick (i.e. there may be something medically wrong with his male parts)
    5. He really IS tired (like he keeps saying)

    Whatever the case may be, he needs to come clean, because it doesn't make sense. I'm willing to bet he's probably stressed out about something (because you would probably know if he was gay or cheating - those are red flags that ALL women see, whether they choose to see it or ignore it).
    dinaca81

    Answer by dinaca81 at 10:33 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I have talked to him before and asked him why and all he ever says is hes just not in the mood and stuff like that. I asked is it my body and weight and he says no. He is always giving me kisses and hugs and wants to snuggle, but never wants sex anymore...
    Kya-AF

    Comment by Kya-AF (original poster) at 10:33 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Men get stressed and sometimes the libido goes. That is what happens. If your horny and feeling wild. Tell him and then tell him watch out. Give him a text or a message on his phone warning him of due diligence. Come home now for sex dammit. If you need to spice it up then do it. Get to it girl. If you have to give him a bj then ride the bad boy. Show him what your made of.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 10:37 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • LOL mmmegan38 - that was hilarious!
    dinaca81

    Answer by dinaca81 at 10:41 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Go on a strict diet...lose the weight...do a little makeover...just upgrade a touch...then see how he reacts
    jmfire14

    Answer by jmfire14 at 11:44 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • if he's telling you it's not the weight, then believe him. it's possible that he might be feeling like the sex is not about connection or satisfaction but a neediness on your part for reassurance... which can be tiring... stop asking him to reassure you and either learn to love your new body or do something about it without making it such a focus in your relationship. you may not be exuding sex appeal if you're not feeling it. years ago i was on a medication that packed on quite a few pounds. i didn't feel comfortable in my own body for a long time after always being thin. i finally got there. stop watching so much tv - many real men prefer a curvier softer version of the female body. claim that in yourself and stop beating yourself up. confidence is sexier than being bony.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:12 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

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