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4 Bumps

Should we pay for our nieces clothes and supplies?

We have a girl we refer to as our "niece". She is a wonderful child, she is actually my husbands half brothers half sister. She is 13, and owns nothing decent, and her mom is a lazy welfare mom who scams the system and refuses to work. This isn't me judging, this is actual fact, the woman hasn't worked in the 6 years DH and I have been together, actually took her kids out of school to "homeschool" so she wouldn't have to get a job at one point.
Our niece is awesome. Her mom buys her crappy clothes that barely fit. We often buy her clothes so she looks decent. Should we buy her school clothes this year, even knowing it will piss of her mom and be showing our favoritism of her over her brothers (who are all horrible little spoiled monsters)? When we do anything, they expect us to keep doing it, but it will be financial stress on us. I just don't want her to suffer because her mom is worthless.

Answer Question
 
truthrowan

Asked by truthrowan at 10:42 PM on Jul. 22, 2010 in

Level 11 (501 Credits)
Answers (23)
  • Yes
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:43 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I would, and I think it's great you're considering it. That's so sad, but so nice of you to help her if you can afford it.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 10:43 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • unless u can do it for her brothers as well and w/ a loving heart you should back off.
    Lynette

    Answer by Lynette at 10:45 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • She is 13. Why not let her "work" for you, to earn school clothes? This way, the message you're sending is much better than what her mother has taught her. She can take pride in working to earn something and take pride in being able to help you with tasks like child care, cooking, housework, and yardwork.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 10:45 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Thats so bad that some parents are that way,. you have to first take care of ur family and whatever extra u can do for her do it. I feel bad for her kids dont deserve to end up in situations like that. kuddos to u and ur hubby for helping her. she will appreciate you guys so much for all that you try to do. :)
    newmommyjazz

    Answer by newmommyjazz at 10:45 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • THIS IS SO TOUGH TO ANSWER BUT I THINK YOU SHOULDN'T BECAUSE THIS CHILD IS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY ...BUT FOR CHRISTMAS(IF YOU CELEBRATE THAT) OR HER BIRTHDAY YOU SHOULD GET HER A FEW THINGS FOR SCHOOL WITH OUT MAKING IT LOOK LIKE FAVORITISM ETC!
    ELIZABETHSMO902

    Answer by ELIZABETHSMO902 at 10:46 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I would and would think about maybe getting the boys (even though they are monsters) at least like some paper or something. And why not see if she can come spend "some time" with you? (Maybe talk to her about adoption so that she can have a healthier and better way of life? If she is old enough she can make the decision.)
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 10:46 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I love the idea of letting her work for you! That's great thinking!
    Gaccck

    Answer by Gaccck at 10:49 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • It is wonderful you are considering helping this young lady who is in need. She is lucky to have you in her life. I would let her "work" at your house. That way she is out of the toxic enviroment she lives in and you can tell the younger boys they are not old enough yet. I'm sure she could watch your children or help with household chores. Letting her earn her new clothes will also teach her the value of a job which she is not being taught at home and it's good for her self esteem.
    CorrinaWithrow

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 10:49 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • I like Alice's idea of letting her work for you.
    missingruth

    Answer by missingruth at 10:51 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

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