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What would you say after a family death?

Today, my mom, dad, brother & I found out that my Grandfather died of cancer a month ago. My dad's family had basically disowned him (and subsequently the rest of us) because of his alcoholism-there's been no communication since '97. Of course, my family is very hurt...I didn't get a lot of time with Grandpap, but he made every moment, and Christmas, special. Needless to say its been a long day for us all, but harder for my dad. Him and his fam all loved each other and were very close up until the separation, but his dad and him had an up and down relationship. To add to it, my dad met one of his daughters this week that his XW had run off with 28 years ago...I know this is a very bittersweet situation right now...he gained a daughter while losing a dad. My dad is pretty emotionless with serious things like this, and I'm finding it hard to communicate. What should I say to him? I've already let him know 'I'm here'

Answer Question
 
nappeal

Asked by nappeal at 11:16 PM on Jul. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,369 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • There really isnt much you can say just being there is the best you can do and sounds like you are doing it
    mscamp0235

    Answer by mscamp0235 at 11:23 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • As someone who has lost a parent, ...i don't think there is anything anyone (let alone one of my children) could have said to me.

    Really, there's not much you can say. ...Just ask him what he needs from you. And keep asking. 3 months from now he's still going to be hurting bad. Ask him then, when Christmas roles around ask him then. It will remind him that you mean what you say, that you are "there for him".

    sorry for your families loss.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 11:23 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • not much u can say
    regian19832002

    Answer by regian19832002 at 11:39 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

  • Focus on the positive (dd). If he's an emotionless man then he won't appreciate anything more than what you have already said about being there for him.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:47 PM on Jul. 22, 2010

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