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i could use some advice

This is my first child and i'm startin to wonder if i can do it. I'm not alone, but i know i'm gonna be the care taker for the most part because my fincee works all the time an when he's not workin he's to tired to do anything. I just don't want to do something to lose my baby...one of my friends just had a baby an couldn't take it an did some really horrible things to her child. Is it normal to feel this way??? I've waited for this for so long i just don't want to mess it up...any advice on how not to would be GREAT.

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lilsoccerbrat89

Asked by lilsoccerbrat89 at 9:33 AM on Oct. 2, 2008 in Pregnancy

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Answers (6)
  • i was so scared i would be a horrible mother, and at times i yell at him and wish he would just go to sleep so i dont have to deal with him and hes only 9 months, hell i even had a dream i cut off his hands so he would hit/sratch me anymore!! but to have thoughts like this is normal, its just stress... once you have your baby just remember that the baby is fragile and needs love and when hes upset its because he needs something, not because he wants to drive you crazy!! when he gets too wild just take a deep breathe and remeber the horrible things your friend did and you dont want to hurt your baby!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • I felt the same way. I was terrified that i was going to do something because of lack of sleep of something. I was fortunate enough to have my hubby home with me for the first week after i had my son. It came natural to me. And there was no way I could ever harm my little bug &hearts If i were you, tell your finance that you understand that he worked all day, but so did you, and you would love just a little time for you, maybe take a bubble bath without interruption. Also when your little one naps, do whatever you can/want. Especially in the beginning. Now that my son is 6 months old he can play on the floor by himself and I can clean=) And dont ever be afraid to ask for help. GL
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 9:42 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • As long as you communicate with someone everything should be fine. Being a new mom is a VERY demanding job & the sleep deprivation, hormones & emotional roller coaster you're on doesn't help! Your fiancee may not be much physical help but use him for emotional support~ Don't be afraid to talk to him. And always remember~ YOU'RE NOT ALONE! I'm sure there are moms here that have dealt with/experienced everything life can throw at a person~ If nothing else come here to to ask for help!

    nikk1331

    Answer by nikk1331 at 9:45 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • i agree with nikk1331, you have a whole network of moms here--we've got your back! the reason your friend probably hurt her baby--she probably had post partum depresion. for most moms it's not too bad,alot of crying and feeling like it's the end of the world. but for some it IS the end. the ones that don't get help are the ones that hurt their children or themselves. when you start feeling blue after delivery, talk to your doctor. they can monitor it for you, make sure you're ok. & don't forget--we're here for you.
    pam228

    Answer by pam228 at 9:54 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • Its hard-all of the women on this site can attest to that! But because you have this worry you're more aware that it is not all fun and games to have a baby and you will be less likely to make any real big mistakes. Take it in stride. Anytime you feel that you cannot handle the baby pass it off to someone else and take some YOU time to calm down. Your love for your kids will be unconditional.
    LovinEveryDay

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 10:03 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • I agree with the pp's. I suffered from HORRIBLE postpartum depression (PPD) but I Never Ever wanted to hurt any of my boys. I did however have thoughts of hurting myself after my second son. Being aware that PPD is a possibility is the best you can do for yourself and your soon-to-be newborn. You will be able to more easily recognize the signs IF it does happen to you. Luckily odds are in ur favor that you may have a couple days of "baby blues" but most women cope well. Feeling anxious about being the best mom u can be is normal and healthy. you won't make the same mistakes as ur friend.
    mommyof5boys543

    Answer by mommyof5boys543 at 11:51 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

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