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8 Bumps

5 yr. old please help me

hello this isnt quite a question more of a request. i have a 5 year old daughter 4 yr old daughter and a two yr old daughter......my five yr old has many medical conditions not going to list them. but she has really horrible emotional problems also and i am starting to have a horrible issues with her and i dont know how to deal....i guess its more i dont feel really close to her like i do my other tow and that makes me feel horrible... it seems like i am always just disiplining her getting and being frustrated with her then anythang else ........ but i would like to talk to an understaning mother to help me out a little bit.please message me or just leave comments

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:10 AM on Jul. 23, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • that behaving that way doesn't make him or me happy, that I love him, and want the best for him. That and using geniune praise for when he does something he's asked to or something of his own accord that was sweet. That has probably made the biggest difference in how he responds to me. Getting upset and angry only upsets him, and a large part of his issues are out of his control until he learns to better manage himself overtime. If you would like, it would be nice if you could friend me so we could keep in touch. There has been so many times where I have felt completely overwhelmed and alone and that is where things start to go bad. You are stronger than you realize and very honest about how this makes you feel which is a very good place to start. Hang in there..you are not alone.
    Heathercurlz

    Answer by Heathercurlz at 11:49 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • It would be nice to get into a therapist who is good with kids/ a family therapy with just you two if they think its best or the whole family. to help you two bond and deal
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 1:21 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I suggest reading the book "Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control".
    It's a wonderful book and may help you with what's going on.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:29 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Again, being a mother with two adult children, one with children of her own, I am going to have to recommend you watching Super Nanny. It's on Style Network. I have recently started to watch this show and find it very interesting. She has awesome ideas. However, looking at your statement, I am going to say that the reason you don't feel as close to the oldest, is because you simply don't have enough time with her. That's a big shame. You need to give both yourself and that child time to be together away from the other two. Eventually, if you allow it to continue like it is, she's going to feel lots of resentment. Also, I would highly recommend you getting some family counseling. My heart is aching for your 5 year old, knowing that my oldest granddaughter is that age. She's a baby really. She still needs her mother. Please give her the time and get to know her again.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 1:37 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I am going through something similar. My son has emotional problems and his older sister is getting more and more out of control and I feel like I could lose my mind half the time. I find that it is important to have time alone with each. I have a 6 year old, 4 year old and 1 year old. I will let my older kids play or work on a craft, alone, and this gives me times for the younger one. When I put my little one down for a nap, I find time for the others. I know how hard it it, but you just need time to understand each because each child is different. If you want to talk, just message me, I have lots of ideas and might be able to help. Good luck.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 10:56 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I have a son who's almost 6 with ADHD/Aspergers and a daughter almost 2 with unspecific diagnosed developmental delays and it is tough. Special needs kids require a lot of extra support, and for my son we currently have him on a medicated patch called Daytrana that has helped heaps. Without the support from the patch he couldn't even follow a simple one step direction, and you'd pretty much have to get him dressed yourself because he is so distractable. Don't give up, you can find the right support for your daughter and it helps you to talk to others who are facing similar issues. Parents of children who do not have special needs can't really understand...so you need to find others who are struggling like yourself. Also, discipline used to be an absolute nightmare with my son. I have discovered overtime though that the biggest help in dealing with him is to keep calm and speak to him in a patient loving way. I let him know...
    Heathercurlz

    Answer by Heathercurlz at 11:43 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • bump
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 1:23 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Super Nanny is okay but when you have a child with any kind of developmental/emotional disability those techniques aren't always going to work. Also if a child has developmental/emotional disabilities it can be frustrating as a parent to learn how to handle that particular child. There is at times some resentment toward that child. It can be hard to be close to a child you don't understand. It has nothing to do with time spent. Chances are you are spending more time with the disabled child than the 'typical' children in the home.

    I think having someone to talk to would be a huge help. Depending on your daughters medical diagnosis counseling my help as well. Another consideration is anti-depressants for you. I know it sounds lame and like an excuse but I've been there and they really helped. My son is Asperger's with ADD/ODD/Anxiety tendencies. He is 'hard to get along with' I would get so frustrated not knowing ...
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 10:45 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • how t get through to him. How to teach him.How to get him to understand things. It was taking a toll on me and my relationship with him. Not to mention with my DD who is 'typical'. I was spending so much time trying to take care of my son she was left in the dark. When I started going to my Spectrum support group that helped A LOT. It wasn't everything I needed though.I needed some antidepresants to get 'back on track' I took them for a few months while I started other supports as well and am now off of them.I don't know what exactly you are going through but I can tell you I understand having a child you don't feel close to because they are more of a challenge. It's like there is not time between redirection and correction to really have fun. With my new found patience and resources to help me help him I am doing much better and our relationship is on the mend. Good luck to you and your famly. PM me if you want.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 10:50 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • First thing I would do is pray for Gods help. Then I would try getting her attention to some thing else when she is doing some thing you do not want her to be doing. Make sure you show her that she is loved as much as the other 2 children. Find time to give her mommy time with out the other 2 and do this with all 3 children. Even if you just take a walk with them one at a time. Or play a game while the others are napping. I have worked with a lot of mentally challenged children and adults thew out my life. I would also say having a good Christian therapist would be helpful. I also feel you need a very good support system. Like friends to talk to and church members that are willing to help you with your children. Make sure you also get some time alone for your self and your husband. Put God as number 1 in your life it really does make a difference. Will be praying for you.
    SassyDee01963

    Answer by SassyDee01963 at 11:00 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

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