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Wow lost for words

DH's buddy was talking to me about a friend from work wanting to do a "wife swap" Asking if I thought it was a bad idea and what not. I put in my 2 cents, that from my point of view, BAD NEWS! I've seen nothing but bad come from these situations. They aren't even close friends, so there really isn't a trust thing there either. Well Then he started talking about how he trusted DH. And asked if us switching would be weird. I don't want to hurt him or anything. He's a great guy..But I'm not at all that way...not sure what to say to him but no...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:36 AM on Jul. 23, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • cont

    If you're not interested but you want to keep the peace with him, you can say something to him like how you're flattered, both that he trusts your dh, and would trust him (dh) with his (other guy's) wife, and that he thinks you're attractive and is interested, but that this is NOT your sort of thing - that you believe very strongly in monogamy in a marriage, and you have no interest in sharing, or being shared, in that way.

    However you handle it though, I would tell your dh if I were you - making it very clear that you were very uninterested and bothered by him asking, but that you just thought he should know about it (because he should know!)...

    good luck!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:45 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Well, it depends on if you want to be nice in your answer or not (I'm assuming from your question that your answer is no..).

    If you're mostly offended and don't care what he thinks, or anything like that, you tell him flat out NO - you think it's wrong, and you're insulted that he thinks you would do this - then you tell your dh.

    If you're more mad, you say I don't know..., why don't we go ask dh about it... Then you take him over where your dh is, and tell him to ask him what he just asked you!!! Then, if he doesn't say it - you tell him (dh) that this guy just propositioned you for a wife swap (of course, making it very clear how insulted and mad you were - I can tell you, this wouldn't go over well with my dh!)

    But, if you're really not interested, but want to keep the peace between you all -

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:41 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I guess you are going to have to spell it out for him and say NO.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 3:39 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I'd ask him if he'd been listening to anything I'd just said! The whole reason he brought up the "friend" from work was to open the door to really ask you if you'll f him. Put him in his place!
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 3:42 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • NO, WAY HOW DO HE KNOW IF HE IS BETTER THAT HIM.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 3:44 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I would be very factual and say NO in no uncertain terms. You took vows to 'forsake all others' and that is something I would not bend on. No, these things sound fun, but always end in disaster.

    Joeygoat

    Answer by Joeygoat at 3:44 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • OH - one other thing - you said that he asked you if you thought it would be weird...

    You could also go with this - when he says "would that be weird" - just give him this really surprised and disgusted look and say flat out - "YES, that WOULD be weird. I'm not interested in being with anyone other than my dh, and I don't want him with anyone else, either." Then either change the subject or walk way.

    I would still tell your dh what he asked though - it's totally disrespectful for your dh's friend to approach you like this.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:49 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

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