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i read my 17 yrs old diary, i know i shouldnt have but we have lots of behavaior issuses in past, i read in the diary she has been having oral sex with lots of differnet boys and drinking and blacking out,,this happens when she goes to a best friends house,,i dont know what to do adult content

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summerbreeze28

Asked by summerbreeze28 at 8:53 AM on Jul. 23, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 3 (23 Credits)
Answers (51)
  • I wouldn't allow her to go to that friend's house anymore ofcourse. Or anyone's house for that matter. I think a grounding and some serious talks are in order, blacking out while drinking is obviously very dangerous! Anyone could take advantage of her. Does she drive? I would take her car away as well. Hopefully someone who actually has a teen has some more advice for you.
    mommymela87

    Answer by mommymela87 at 8:56 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I'm surprised she even keeps a diary.... When I was a rambunctious teen I sure didn't! But I agree with PP. I don't have a teen either but I'll bump ya.
    jenae_gist

    Answer by jenae_gist at 8:58 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I remember when i was younger and my parents read my diary for the same reason you have...and if she is doing this at 17 wow that is a little young...but i agree with mommymela87 on that.... i wouldnt let her go anymore!!!
    firstimemomm603

    Answer by firstimemomm603 at 8:58 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • 1st of all - you shouldn't have done that. With that said, now you know. And you will have to talk to her about it. I would start with sex talks in general. Because the minute you tell her you read her diary, she'll stop listening and just get totally pissed off that you did that. No other information will get through to her. If you can't get around telling her about reading her diary, then you might want to think about talking about it in counseling before you tell her by yourself. Because again, she's going to be royally pissed about the diary and maybe, just maybe, a counselor will be able to get her to listen. Good luck.
    Katt709

    Answer by Katt709 at 8:59 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Whatever you do don't let on that you snooped, I use to do the same when I saw a change in my teens and they wouldn't talk. But keep her away from this friend if at all possible, blacking out is dangerous, find a video on the dangers of drinking and blacking out and give it to her to see, there is information of the devastation in drinking and how they start, it might be an eye opener for her. Keep snooping, and be informed.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:00 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • i agree with mommymela..she's still under your authority, and your roof, and finances. take it all away! when she's of legal age, and can get out (as she'll surely threaten to), let her. she needs a good reprimand and lots of guidance. if she's had behavioral issues, she's obviously snowed you in making you believe she was behaving now. you don't trust her, or you wouldn't read her diary. so you aren't as blinded as she think, or as you've probably acted.
    she needs to be tested for sexual diseases, too. make it happen, momma! she's not an adult (legally) yet. and she's far from being a MATURE adult for a while. take matters into your hands while you can. once she's legal and out of your house/authority, there's little you can do.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:01 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • she has been in counseling for about 2 yrs, ive thought about calling her counsler and asking her, i almost wish i didnt read this stuff but she needs help, she will totally hate me for reading it and we have had problems with our relationship in past beause of drinking and drugs and i really thought it was behind us,,if she knows i snooped it may break what ever relationship we have left,,im scared either way
    summerbreeze28

    Comment by summerbreeze28 (original poster) at 9:04 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • First of al I would call the friends parents and ask them if they are aware of whats going on. She is drinking so much she is passing out? And having oral sex. I would sit her down and let her know the risk of oral sex. That STD can still be transmitted to the mouth.
    My DD started having behavioral problems at 17 and would do anything she could to leave my house. She was still in school and I was told if she didn't go I would be fined. I talked to a judge and he said she could leave my home, but I was still responsible for her medical and school and food. Funny she don't have to live under my roof but I have to make sure she eats.
    Talk to her and let her know that her drinking and passing out could lead to danger and alcohol poisoning. Good luck!!
    dana63

    Answer by dana63 at 9:07 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Do not let her know you read that in her diary.
    PLease talk to her about oral sex though. Alot of young girls think that's what they are supposed to do. They think every other girl does it, but they are wrong, and the guys they do it to don't think anything of them, and none of them will want to have an actual reationship with her. They don't respect her, because she doesn't respect herself. If there is a guy interested in her and finds out that's what she does, he won't want to be with her. I hope things turn out okay for you both!
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 9:13 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I think calling her counselor is the way to go. Then the counselor could be a mediator for the two of you. You will have to acknowledge that you should not have read the diary but that you called the counselor because you love your daughter and she is in danger due to all the issues stated here and she doesn't need to get pregnant (if boys are at these parties). This is going to be painful, but remind yourself, and I'm sure the counselor will point this out, that it is your job as parent to protect her. The counselor may have other ideas how to proceed. I wish you all the best.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 9:15 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

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