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Not sure what to say or how to go about it

ok, my husband cheated and had a baby outside of our marriage. This was over a yr. ago. He told me he wanted to work it out. And in the end I did too. I wanted it more than anything. Only problem was that lil things he was doing I knew he was lying. He was still giving her hope that they'd be together if not all together sexing her. Of course I have no solid proof so he denies it and says I'm paranoid. Well the chick sorta confirmed it the other day and he said he'd clear up her "lies" by calling her in front of me. 2wks later never happened and his excuse is she doesn't have her own phone. All of this bullshit has made me fall out of love w/ him. We dnt live together and I dnt want 2 anymore. He still thinks I wanna be w/ him. He's a very dramatic person. How do I break it down to him w/o all of the dramatics?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:17 AM on Jul. 23, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I would just meet up with him (maybe somewhere public depending on his personality) and tell him you just cant do this. YOu thought you could work it out but you cant trust him. If you really want to move on tell him..but dont go back and forth for your sake and the kids involved. Just be very clear and refuse to argue with him. Tell him you will be filing for a divorce and you wish his actions hadnt brought you to this point but it is robbing you of your peace and sanity and you cant live like that. Good luck..sorry you are going thru all this.

    Answer by ria7 at 10:21 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Honestly, IMO, you don't owe that man anything. He cheated on you and had a baby outside of your marriage. He still talks to the other woman and obviously is telling her he wants to be with her. I'd simply tell him that you've had enough and it's over. End of story.

    Answer by AMZF812 at 10:18 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • There will be drama, you just need to tell him that is over for you and you want to live your life without him. Tell him the thrill is gone.

    Answer by older at 10:19 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Serve him with divorce papers and let the lawyers deal with the drama....You owe him nothing and you dont need to put up with his crap. You dont live together so you should try to go on with your life and find a man who will respect you and treat you properly. He has lied and cheated and does not deserve to be with you. I give you credit for trying to work it out even after he had an extramarital affair.

    Answer by melliesmom1207 at 10:24 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I agree u don't owe him nothing he's the one that messed up.If he has a phone call him or text him and let him know how u feel.

    Answer by mamaofficer at 10:45 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • i think you should just tell him straight up you dont want to be with himanymore. let him know that you dont want to be with him because he doesnt treat you good. that you guys had agreed to work it out and he still went to her when he was supose to have nothing to do with her. i understad with the baby but he didnt have to see her, he could of send money throught the mail for child support and if he sees the kid he could go and pick him up with you or something. tell him your tired of everything and just dont want to work it out anymore. if he starts getting emotional tell him to stop and that he shoudl of thoguht about it before that your done with it and have no feelings for him anymore GOOD LUCk

    Answer by Alejandra10 at 10:22 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I agree with the first post- but I would see about getting yourself counseling to deal with it all. This is not a sign of weakness, but just good judgment in my opinion. it will help you along the way.

    I don't know how large of a city you live in, but there are ways to get free or low cost counseling. If you live in a big city, then there are probably more options, but if you live in a small town you could ask at places of worship, or doctors for suggestions.

    I'd cut the ties myself. Sounds to me like your husband needs to grow up and if nothing else realize that his actions created a child that he needs to think of.
    good luck!

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 10:29 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • so sad that you stayed after he made a baby with another women. That was the ultimate disrespect to you...I am so sad for you & your situation.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:44 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • just walk away and dont look back,, men like him never change,,, I really feel bad for you, I'm sure it's really hard for you but believe me you would do much better without him in your life, because he will just keep hurting you as long as you let him....


    Answer by mommy_sam at 11:20 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • You tell him it is done. You are tired of his crap. You are not putting up with it any longer. Goodbye.

    Answer by sweet2bmom at 11:24 AM on Jul. 23, 2010