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race issues with daughter

My daughter and I have moved from a very non-diverse (white) area in Iowa to Atlanta. She is going to start PreK in a couple weeks, and about 70% of her class is black. When she was in head start in IA, there were 2 non-white kids, both who happend to have behavioral issues. So she told me "I don't like BROWN ppl" I feel like I've explained 2 her well enuf that it isn't OK to say that, and that we are all alike, even if we look different.
I was wondering if it would be a good idea to talk to her new teachers about it, or if they might hold it against her subconsciously. I haven't met the teachers yet (just the directors) and they are most likely black too. I just want them to be sensitive to the fact that this is new for her, to not let her say those things but not to dislike her for it. Should I say something?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Jul. 23, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (8)
  • I think you should tell them and explain to them that you are reassuring her everyday that it is OK and those things are not nice to say. I would hope as adults they can understand. Good luck!

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 11:12 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it. Chances are her first day or two will be a little different for her, but once she sees that "Brown People" are just like her, she'll warm up and so will they. Everyone is a bit skiddish and scared for their first week - whether they have race issues or not... Come week two, this won't even be a worry...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:14 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I really don't know but i wanted to say I understand where you are coming from! The big thing I see is they might take Tuaregs learned it from you... Maybe just take her out and let her adjust to seeing more of one race and explain more to her? Otherwise I wouldn't worry so much because she will learn sooner or later that it's not one race but all people who act that way.

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 11:18 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I would talk to them and just make them aware of the fact that this is new for her just so they don't think you're raising a racist or anything like that, people can be judgmental that way.

    I wouldn't worry too much about it, she's not getting a good view on blacks as a race if her only dealings with them are two kids with behavioral issues. Is there a way you can get her exposed to other kids without the behavioral issues so that she can get a clearer picture?

    Answer by DarkFaery131 at 11:19 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Nope, don't say a word for your dd's sake. Confront the issue if it comes up, but only then. No need to prejudice the school against her before hand. She will more likely have some problems. She's not just facing race issues but cultural shock as well. All too often cultural issues are mislabeled a racial issue in the deep South. Good Luck.


    Answer by isabellalecour at 11:21 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Honestly, I can completely understand where you are coming from. When my son started preschool it was the same way, except instead of "brown" he called them "chocolate". I explained to him, that we never judge anyone by what they look like on the outside, because it is what is inside that matters. When he started preschool, within 2 or 3 days, he did not even notice it anymore. And, we solved the "chocolate" thing too. His new best friend (who was about his age and "chocolate") informed my son that he was not chocolate! And told him if he did not believe him to lick his arm and see, lol. So, things have a way of working themselves out when they are that age.

    Answer by mommy11260 at 11:22 AM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I wouldn't say anything to the teachers beforehand. I wouldn't make it an issue unless it is an issue. I would take the time to talk to her about race/skin colour before school starts. Tell her that people come with all different colours of skin, just like people come with different hair colours and different eye colours. Tell her that 'not like brown people' is unfair, how would she feel if someone said "I don't like people with blue eyes" (or whatever eyes she happens to have) and how that would be unfair because she is so much more than just her eye or hair or skin colour. Hopefully when she gets to class she will make friends and it won't be a big issue. Good luck!

    Answer by Freela at 12:37 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I wouldn't say anything either. Is there any type of mom's group or some new friends that you could invite over before you are sending her to school by herself? I think that if she had a chance to see you interacting and befriending black people, then she will start to think it is normal.

    Answer by squish at 2:28 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

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