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Is the phrase "shut up" really so terrible?

My 4 year old daughter was being watched by what i thought was a close friend and her godmother, who also has a 4 year old daughter. About 3 hours into the work day, I get text messages stating that her daughter came to tell her my daughter had told her to shut up. So she asked my daughter who sauid yes she did that because she pushed me. (I don't let people use insults around my daughter so whenever anyone does something mean to her she either says shut up or fine ,stay home. Those are the two worst things she can think of :)) Anyway, this person is freaking out that Hannah told her daughter to shut up and saying I just can deal with this and if you let this happen at your home fine but nobody, esp not a child, will be saying shut up in my house. And was just super pisssy about it. So I went to get my daughter because honestly if you are talking that way to me about it, how are you treating my daughter about it? (con


Asked by BriHan06 at 12:22 PM on Jul. 23, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (13)
  • I always find it funny how some people think the phrase shut up is worse than saying the f word. Heck some parents when there kids say shut up they get punished as if they had said go f** your self. I'm not sure what I would have done in your shoes but I do know that right now both of you are still angry and upset just give it some time and them talk it out. This is no reason to end the friendship or never let her watch your daughter again.

    Answer by mrsbean08 at 12:37 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I have NEVER understood why people get up and upset over "Shut up." So what? They aren't swearing, they aren't calling names or insulting... They are just saying Shut your damn mouth! My children say it - I say it... If someone doesn't like it I can always use the long version - which they REALLY won't like!

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:37 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • so anyway, now she hjas the nerve to be pissed at me because I went to get my child and told her that I wasn't going to allow her to be mean and nasty towards her the rest of the day,esp over the word shut up. She is saying that just bc she was mad doesn't mean she would treat her any different, but I have seen how she disciplines her own children when she is mad, why the hell would I leave my child with her a minute longer????

    I feel that she was off her rocker for overreacting like that in the first place over something so stupid. Correct her, and move on with the day. There are worst things that could be said. She feels I overreacted by taking my child out of her care... What do you guys think?

    Comment by BriHan06 (original poster) at 12:25 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • It came from a 4 year old ppl need 2 take it in2 consideration of their age...I dont think that was horrible at all they act like ur child swear or did something else horribly wrong.....I have a 4 year old 2 there is alot worse things that could have been said or done...she needs 2 get over it!!!

    Answer by Halogurl29 at 12:26 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • OMG.. Ok well I don't LIKE to use SHUT UP or stupid or anything at our house in front of our son, but that doesn't mean he won't hear it and say it by the time he is 4 - I agree, correct her and move on... she is 2

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 12:32 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Yes, it's rude and harsh. How will you feel when your daughter tells you to "shut up"? Ever thought of teaching your daughter to tell people to "be quiet"?

    Answer by MomMom23 at 12:33 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I don't allow my children to say "shut up" I think it's an ugly thing to say, and even uglier coming out of a child's mouth. I don't say it to my children, ever, I don't expect to hear them say it, ever. The other adult in the situation should have calmly told your daughter that she's not to say that in her house, and moved on. I think both of you overreacted in the situation.

    Answer by missanc at 12:34 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • MomMom23- Yes, I certainly do remind her constantly that we say be quiet instead of shut up. Thanks for asking :)

    Comment by BriHan06 (original poster) at 12:34 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I personally don't allow my child to say shut up and don't allow anyone to say that around her in my presence because I believe it is rude but that is a parenting choice that I will only enforce on my child not anyone elses child. She is wrong for that. That is not here child. What she should be focused on is that her child pushed yours. What did she do about that?

    Answer by MsHouseWife at 12:43 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I like how she was mad at your daughter for saying shut up, but what about her daughter pushing your daughter? I definitely don't think a 4 year old should be saying shut up, but in my mind, pushing is worse. Your friend needs to take a chill pill.

    Answer by Christina807 at 1:17 PM on Jul. 23, 2010