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2 Bumps

my brother is in prison and his girlfriend dropped his and her two year old baby off and said she didnt want him. I have three kids of my own and I had my tubes tied my baby is almost 7 next month I dont want any more kids and the two year old is a handful what should I do everybody is depending on me to take him I really dont want any more kids obviously.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Jul. 23, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (20)
  • is there any other family member that woudl take them in?
    if it were me id watch after them untill borhter got out and got on his own feet. unless hes in for life. then id abviously take care of them for life
    sandraberke

    Answer by sandraberke at 1:12 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • let the family know you dont plan on raising him. you love him but there is a reason you got your tubes tied.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 1:12 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I'd call the police and report it, and then see what they can do.
    hornz102485

    Answer by hornz102485 at 1:13 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • That is just sad that she could do that.What would happen if your brother were not in prison?would he have stepped up and been the dad he needs to be?You should tell him what has happened.I know you have your hands full.but this is your blood.Maybe some other family member could take this on, till his daddy gets out of jail.Don't punish the child for what his stupid mother did.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:14 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Oh that is TERRIBLE.. Nice Mother.. I think at this point, I couldn't NOT raise him.. I know thats a tough place and situation to be placed in but this child is not at fault for having terrible parents.. and that is why he is a handful - if you love him and show him he is important and wonderful you could turn his whole world around..
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:15 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I'd call the Mom, tell her you cannot take him as you're being responsible for your own family. Just because the brother is in jail doesn't make you the default parent cause the Mom is tired of being a Mom. Tell the Mom you plan to call CPS and her child will end up in foster care. It's not a matter of love, if you can't do it, you just cannot. That is, if there isn't any other family to help.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 1:18 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • find a family for him. I know that sounds nonhuman sorta. you can go thru the county and work with a social worker to have him placed in a fostercare home and you are still in the child's life~if the family wants to adopt him, you can still be his aunt...you might even be able to pick the family.

    I worry you will take this little person on and work thru not wanting to parent him only to have mom come back on you and pull him after you got him all "homegrown"....you have to have it deep in you to do this for your brother. being a good aunt might mean finding him a forever home with him knowing all his people who love him. I think you have a high road out of this...you don't have to be his primary caregiver to really love him!
    surfcitymom

    Answer by surfcitymom at 1:19 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Seek out another family member that can take the toddler in.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:20 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I'd try my hardest to make it work because if I could I would never let anyone in my family end up in the system. Human services should be able to help you with healthcare and money for his basic needs. Just think of all you could learn from him and all he could learn from you. You would change his life so much for the better. The first year will be hard but he will learn your rules and routine and before you know it you couldn't picture your life without him.
    Fordmomma

    Answer by Fordmomma at 1:24 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Think about it this way: the mother dropping him off with you is better than her abusing him, or neglecting him, or all kinds of other horrible things people who don't want children do to their children.

    Then, ask yourself: which do you NOT WANT more, another child in your family, or your nephew in foster care?

    Then, either keep him and raise him like your own and never give him back to his selfish parents, or call CPS and let them place him with a family who hopefully will love him and treat him well.
    LilAydinsMommy

    Answer by LilAydinsMommy at 1:24 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

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