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2 Bumps

What would u do in my position?

So my lo's father and i arent together anymore. We broke up when lo was about a month, he will be 2 months on aug 3rd. He lies, hides things, and cheated. My mom says lo needs his father but i cant stand to be with him. When he was around the first month, he barly helped with lo and bitched about getting up during the night with him. I feel LO dosent need his father, if he isnt going to be a real father.

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nikkik526

Asked by nikkik526 at 2:02 PM on Jul. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (197 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Honestly, I would go to court and get visitation set up. Leave it to the courts to decide visitation. You don't want him taking you to court accusing you of not letting him see his son.
    themacs4

    Answer by themacs4 at 2:04 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I second what you say. A child needs a father,not a sperm donor.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:05 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • better to have no father than a pos father! but thats just wat i think!
    Caroline2010

    Answer by Caroline2010 at 2:05 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • i agree with you, your baby does need a father but a good one that will be there and support you BOTH!
    Thats just my opinion.
    Be wishes to you!
    WAH_Mama

    Answer by WAH_Mama at 2:09 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • You should never stay together for the children because that can end up doing more harm than good. And you shouldn't stay with someone who will make you miserable. If you want the guy in your child's life that is good. Do it through visitations and holidays but don't stay in a relationship where you are not truly happy. Any man can father a child but not all men can be fathers! Good luck!
    maggiebella25

    Answer by maggiebella25 at 2:11 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I know exactly where you are coming from. I left my first husband when dd was 3wks old. He was a drug addicted abuser. When we went to court for divorce he was given supervised visits every other weekend. His mom got her for a year moved away and didn't see her for 4 years and then his mom had him take me to court so she could see dd. I went to court to fight this and was told by the judge that if I didn't stick to the original agreement I would go to jail. Uh hello what about the 4 yrs they didn't see her? She doesn't know them!!! Judge didn't care. Point being don't keep lo from the father or you might find yourself with a judge like this ass who thinks all fathers are worthy of the opportunity of blah blah blah........
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 2:19 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I think a child needs a father who intends to BE a father. Not a man around not wanting anything to do with him... I think though, if you BOTH make that decision, make it legally so there's no back in forth with this "baby daddy" coming in and out of your childs life and hurting him anymore. A child does need a good male role model just like a child needs to be loved by their mother
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:20 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I believe that all children have the right to see and have a relationship with their bio parents. Regardless of what he's done to you, that is irrelevant to him being the kids father. I don't think it is ever fair to keep a kid from their parent unless they are being abused or exposed to something harmful. So I guess I agree with your mom.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 2:21 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • since people r thinking im not letting the father see him, i guess i need to add on. The father dose come to see LO, we told him he can come when he wants but barly comes. He come about 2 times a week. I should also add he dose pot alot. If fact i found out before we broke up he had pot in the car driving to my sisters, needles to say i wouldnt drive back home with him, the baby was even in the car. Also two days ago when he was here, he smelt like beer big time.
    nikkik526

    Comment by nikkik526 (original poster) at 2:54 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Get a calender and document EVERYTHING! Dates he comes, how long he stays, smells like alcohol etc. When you go to court this will be your best friend. That was the only thing that helped me get supervised visits instead of ex having regular visits. Have it spelled out exactly for him.
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 3:04 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

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